No matter how much i try my parents eventullay force me to raise voice before them am i sinful? What should i do? I have treid to find out online but they tell honour parents and thst is just not working fine.
2 Answers
It was related on the authority of Abu Sa’id Sa’d bin Malik bin Sinan al-Khudri, radiyallahu ‘anhu, that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, said:
“There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.”
[A excellent hadith which Ibn Majah, Al-Daraqutni and others related as of sound isnad, but which Malik related in his Muwatta’ as of broken isnad, from ‘Amr bin Yahya, from his father, from the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, but dropping (the name of) Abu Sa’id. This hadith has lines of transmission which strengthen one another (so that it may be regarded as of sound isnad).]
That is to say, do not harm and do not allow yourself to be harmed: in this case by being pushed into doing something haram.
So one way to avoid this situation is to leave the home and for example stay with a relative, even temporarily; or make yourself busy so the time your parents have to interact with you is less; or to spend the day outside or at a friend's house. Maybe they will reflect on their behaviour towards you, and you towards them.
I think you should distance yourself from them and move into your own place. You will notice that this way you would be able to maintain a healthy relationship with them for the sake of Allah. Talk to them over the phone or visit them only for a couple of hours once a week.
