Suppose you are an adult (according to Allah) like 16-18, but a child according to society and your family, and you want to get married for Islamic reasons (keeping away from zinnah [adultery]) and both the man and woman agree. I know you should get the permission of the parents but they are ignorant on these matters as they have been strongly swayed by today's customs (may Allah guide us all) and believe one must get a degree and buy a house then by age 28 go get married, and before then suppress our sexual desires or even secretly relieve them. It is genuinely just a "hassle and stress" to ask permission, so...

Would it be OK if they got married for the sake of Allah then a year or so later tell their parents?

Also I know how important it is to provide for your wife, but like I said in such a society getting a job and house by age 16 is very difficult, so can you be married lawfully but remain in parents' house then when you can support her (which you should try asap) then tell parents?


4 Answers 4


Marriage without woman's Wali (guardian) is not acceptable in Islam. The marriage is simply not valid. There are cases where guardian consent can be disposed off though.

This link talks about requirement of a marriage in Islam. This includes Announcement, Consent of both parties, witnesses, mehr and permission of woman Wali.

To be valid, a marriage has to meet certain requirements such as ishhar (announcement), the payment of the mahr (dower), the consent of both parties, the permission of the wali (woman's guardian), and the presence of witnesses.

The guardian consent may only be disposed of in certain cases where the cause is non-Islamic but he must be approached first. If he is never approached or it is assumed, he will not give consent, I do not think such marriage is valid. Also in absence of woman's Wali the other requirements (announcement, witnesses, mehr) should be very strong.

I think what you are doing is committing an illicit relationship.

  • The person is asking about parents and not wali. If wali is required, then Allah says the believers are awliya of one another. That means any believer can be a wali and the parents aren't required. But the question mentions parents.
    – Sayyid
    Jun 20, 2015 at 16:11
  • @Sayyid father is Wali. If father is not there then it will another kin. Marriage without father permission is just not valid for a girl.
    – muslim1
    Jun 20, 2015 at 16:29
  • that's your opinion and not Islamically defined.
    – Sayyid
    Jun 21, 2015 at 16:26
  • 1
    @Sayyid if you think father is not wali, you can raise a point here. Why is he not wali. What is the role of father than?
    – muslim1
    Jun 22, 2015 at 7:06

Man need not consent of parents to marry but he need consent if he use their property.

Woman needs a wali in marriage ceremony, but, she can marry without consent of her wali if she is "matron". What does it mean? Seems it means "not virgin and not child". But, as I know, there are different opinions among scholars about old virgin girl, whether she can also marry without consent, and also different opinions about non-virgin child, because child generally should get consent of parents.

http://sunnah.com/tirmidhi/11/22: Abu Musa narrated that: the Messenger of Allah said: "There is no marriage except with a Wali."

http://sunnah.com/tirmidhi/11/29: Ibn Abbas narrated that: The Messenger of Allah said: "The matron has more right to herself than her Wali, and the virgin is to give permission for herself, and her silence is her permission."

And even in the case she needs consent of wali, but wali refuses to accept a good person, they can ask for another wali, it is said in http://islamqa.info/en/95405: ... guardianship passes to the next closest male relative on the father’s side, then the next closest and so on. If they refuse to arrange her marriage, as usually happens, then guardianship passes to the qaadi, and the qaadi should arrange the woman’s marriage...

           In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful

According to the Fatwa of Ayatollah Saafi as a Marja-al-Taqlid of Shia Islam to an inquiry which could be similar to your question (that inquired as follows): a person who is at the age that it is Wajib for him to get married, so if he doesn’t get married, in all probability he would commit a haram act or get a harm (for his body..), but his parents don’t allow him to get married. If that man get married without the permission of his parents, his parents would be suffered…, would it be permissible for him to get married without their permission? The response of Ayatollah was that:

At the mentioned case, the marriage of that man wouldn’t be impermissible, haply it is Wajib. And also suffering (of parents) at the mentioned issue wouldn’t be the obstacle of Sharia.

In regards to your last matter that asked "can you be married lawfully but remain in parents house then when you can support her (which you should try ASAP) then tell parents? Subsequently, there couldn't be seen any obstacle at the mentioned issue.


  • Thank you for your answers regarding last bit, the link is in arabic can you summarise if it is lawful? Jazak allah, also i am not a shia nor do i call myself a sunni even though i believe in the rashidun, do if this matter is effected by shia belief or is this a general belief in islam that can be backed. Jzk allah
    – Shibu
    Nov 30, 2014 at 12:02
  • uh-huh, this is in Farsi (Persian). unfortunately i couldn't find it in English dear mate. Nov 30, 2014 at 12:06

"It is genuinely just a "hassle and stress" to ask permission"

And that is enough reason to cut yourself off from your parents, and make such a life-changing decision without regard to the ones through whom you were given life?? Many parents have difficulties in relating to their children, and are perhaps ignorant.... Instead of cutting yourself further from them, why not teach them and be well with them, and do things in the open as it should be done?

Answer (even though it seems already answered by others alhamdulillah): Marriage for the male is allowed without parents intervention, but the wali is needed for the woman. Otherwise, it will not be marriage but zina.

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