How should one get married if they have committed sexual immoralities?

Question

I am a muslim male. When I was a child a person older than me had anal sex with me several times. When I was a teenager I had oral sex with one of my cousins. Does that make me a fornicator? According to Quran 24:3 A fornicator does not marry except a fornicator. How can I get married?

Answer 1

You repent and reform your ways. Then you will no longer be considered a fornicator.

التائب من الذنب كمن لا ذنب له

The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin.

^{— Ibn Majah - classed as hassan or sahih based on corroboration}

أن رجلا أراد أن يزوج ابنة، فقالت: إني أخشى أن أفضحك، إني قد بغيت، فأتى عمر فقال: أليست قد تابت؟ قال: نعم قال: فزوجها

A man decide to marry off his daughter. She said: I fear I will bring shame to you, for I have committed fornication. He came to Umar.

Umar asked: Has she not repented?

He said: Yes

Umar said: Then marry her off.

^{— Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah}

The majority considers it permissible for a fornicator to marry anyone. Especially after repentance. The verse 24:3 is interpreted as follows:

• The verse is from the time when marriage with non-muslims was permissible. The verse made it forbidden for Muslims to marry non-muslim prostitutes. And later it was made forbidden to marry all non-muslims (2:221, 60:10). The prohibition does not apply to Muslim sinners as they are included in the permission granted by the verses:

  وأنكحوا الأيامى منكم

  And marry the unmarried among you

  ^{— Quran 24:32}

  وأحل لكم ما وراء ذلكم

  And lawful to you are [all others] beyond these

  ^{— Quran 4:24}

• ينكح here means sex (fornication) not marriage. The verse is news rather than a ruling. It is simply says that a fornicator fornicates with a fornicatress or a polytheist. It is a condemnation and prohibition of fornication, not a ruling on legal marriage.

• Some hold that it forbids marriage by fornicators to anyone, but that restriction is removed by repentance.

• A minority holds that a person who has been convicted and punished under the Hadd for Zina can only marry another person who too has been convicted and punished.