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I am 26 years old, and I married for 4 years. My husband has a problem in bed, and his reports also suggest that he can't produce enough amount of semen due to his habits. For 2 years, we tried our best, but all in vain. One day my husband tried something different on bed with me. He tied me, and blindfolded me then he played with me, and inserted it into me.

During the act, he ejaculated many times inside of me. Then later, my blindfold was removed, and I was surprised to see it was my husband's cousin. I was motionless, because I was in shock after some time when I regained myself. I pushed him with all my strength, but all in vain. After sometime, I gave up so he ejaculated once again. I was very angry that I was not aware of this.

My question is, when I was blindfolded, I never knew that it was someone else, but when blindfold was removed, I was motionless due to shock, but when I pushed him with all my strength and failed, I eventually let him in after all the struggle.

Am I punishable for the zina? My husband was very desperate to get a child, and he never had any bad lusty intentions. All he did was for a child, how will he repent if I forgive him totally? Now that I have a child because of this incident, I am keeping the child anyway, but what to do I if I want a child again from his cousin? Is there any legal way in Islamic law? Or should I marry him to do so?

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    This is quite a critical matter. It is clear without a doubt, that it is haram to have sex outside of marriage, no matter what the execute is. As for what happened already, you should seek advice from a scholar in your community. – Ghasan Feb 18 '17 at 6:04
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    THis is clearly a rape, and both your husband and his cousin are involved. In an islamic country, or i think even in any country where humanity exist, you can go to court and make them pay. This is not a small issue to ignore just because he is your husband. Its better to get separated from such person i think. ANy way, i would also suggest to go to some high islamic authority around you, this is very important issue and persons like me should not be giving fatwas on this. – Zia Ul Rehman Mughal Feb 18 '17 at 9:12
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    BTW with your last comment, it seems you have also accepted this incident by your heart and even willing to do it again(astagfirullahi min zalik) this is real problem, because before that, it was rape, but you accepting it... and doing ti again will make it zina. You can keep child and rapist will pay for his expenses, but rapist should be punished.. – Zia Ul Rehman Mughal Feb 18 '17 at 9:14
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    There are a lot of complications here: e.g. who has the paternal rights/responsibilities for this child? Please be careful with the advice you get here; from the on-topic page: While questions on the legality of actions (from an Islamic perspective) are welcome, answers may be posted by anybody regardless of training or expertise. It is important to judge the evidences provided by each answer to the best of your own abilities, and accept such answers at your own risk. – Rebecca J. Stones Feb 18 '17 at 11:07
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    @user21213 While this is not a peer-support or advice forum, the answer to " please tell me alternative ways to get a baby in which I don't commit any sin." is really simple; the only halal way to get pregnant is with sperm from your husband, either via intercourse with him or via artificial insemination. – G. Bach Feb 18 '17 at 21:40
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You are considered as a victim of wath'u shubh if the insertion is without your sense i,e you thought that he was your husband but if the insertion is with your sense i,e you knew that he was not your husband then you will be punished by allah. You are saying that the insertion happened without your sense so you are not a convict so you are innocent and you are safe. Now, you should sit iddah for a period of three menstrual cycle. During this period your husband should not make interaction with you.

  • Should I sit iddah now I have a kid now? But I never had interaction for a very ling time after that incident. What should my husband do to repent his sins when I have forgiven him. – user21213 Feb 18 '17 at 10:03
  • the time of iddah has finished. according to islamic law if this had happened in islamic country or a place where islamic laws are applied your husband's cousin is considered as criminal and will be punished , if he is married he should be killed by throwing stones or if he is unmarried he should be lashed by whip 100 times and this should be done by ameer of that country . the consideration of forgiving is leaven to allah. both your husband's cousin and husband are punished same punishment from allah unless both perform thauba ,the person who helped for doing a sin is same as doing that sin. – nione Feb 18 '17 at 10:43
  • How do my husband and his cousin perform tauba? Will they be forgiven ? Although my husband was not directly acting in zina whats his sin? What should I do am I a sinner too? – user21213 Feb 18 '17 at 13:48
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    How the iddah came into play? talaaq has never happened... – Zia Ul Rehman Mughal Feb 18 '17 at 17:39
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    Because his cousin ejaculated inside and two semen from different males should not be mixed up ie. My husband. – user21213 Feb 18 '17 at 19:29
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Asak wr wb,

It seems to me you have some deep-seated emotional issues that are really messing you up. In fact, it sounds like you are deliberately trying to mess up your life, and I cannot think why someone would do that unless there is a lot of self-hate involved, or unless you are trying to punish yourself for something. I think it would definitely not hurt you to see a therapist.

Now, as to when that act happened, it was not of your own accord. In Islam, all actions are based on intention (ayah) and we will be judged accordingly. Inshallah you will not be punished for an act you never wanted in the first place.

Coming to the next point that you & your husband have accepted what has happened and are ready to move on. Both of you should do Tawbah and ask Allah's forgiveness.

Generally speaking Tawbah means to acknowledge to Allah the sin that was done and to stop doing it; to feel remorse that you did it; to make reparations to anyone who has been wronged; and to sincerely resolve to Allah not to commit the sin again.

Even with the magnitude of your sin, Allah will forgive you if you repent sincerely. Allah's Mercy is unlimited and far surpasses your sin. Allah is Al-Rahman and Al-Raheem. Allah Almighty says:

"Say: 'O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Az-Zumar: 53)

The door of repentance is open to your family, but do not delay. Y'all need to end the affair and ask forgiveness for it ASAP.

The topic of the child is more serious. In Islam, adopting of the child is not the same as in the west. If the child is of another parent, the lineage should not be changed and inheritance laws will be different.

As others have mentioned, you and your husband should consult with a qualified aalim in your community. Talk to him/her about rights of an adopted child without mentioning this incident.

As far the rape is concerned, if you as the victim have decided to forgive your rapist without any pressure from others, inshallah Allah will accept from you. Ask your husband to never disclose the incident again and keep away from his cousin. Please remember more than you it is your husband & his cousin who are in need of Tawbah.

May Allah make it easy for your family.

Ameen.

  • Thanks for the advice. I am not consulting any one for the inhertence of my child I am having it anyway because the father may not be my husband but I am the mother and my husband is willing to take care of us and more over his cousin stays in a different city and he doesn't started earning yet so he will not pay for any expenses. – user21213 Feb 19 '17 at 19:29
  • What type of sin has my husband done can it be forgiven? Will he be forgiven by the all mighty? – user21213 Feb 19 '17 at 19:34
  • You are getting mixed up between the concept of taking care of the expenses of the child and the topic of inheritance. My advise is to consult with a local qualified Aalim who can provide you with more details on how adoption works in Islam. W.r.t your second question, your husband and his cousin have done a grave sin. But ask them to have faith in Allah as He has mentioned He will forgive all sins except shirk if forgiveness is sincerely asked before one's death. – Ahmed Feb 20 '17 at 13:21
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    I can't consult aalim on this because I don't want to reveal it. It would good if you say about inheritance please. – user21213 Feb 20 '17 at 13:51
  • do I have to forgive his cousin for rape and then say that he should not own the responsibility? – user21213 Feb 20 '17 at 14:24

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