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I am a 28 year old single male. I have been wanting to get married for the last 10 years but the lack of resources doesn't allow me to. And my sexual and emotional desires don't seem to be calming down and is at it's peak.

I still can't get married because I cannot afford to provide for a woman and children. People say that I should fast. But for how long?

Fasting won't help as I am a power lifter for the last 10 years and I can't fast except for in Ramazan.

Please advise how do I tackle my emotional and sexual desires as marriage is becoming out of question for me.

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    Go ahead and do Nikah, trusting in Allah, regardless of how you perceive your financial ability. (24:32): إن يكونوا فقراء يغنهم الله من فضله
    – UmH ♦
    Commented Aug 1, 2019 at 3:10
  • People are not willing to marry their daughter to me. Is it permissible for me to commit a sin to satisfy my desires?
    – Hasham Mirza
    Commented Aug 1, 2019 at 8:35
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    @HashamMirza no it isn't allowed to commit a sin when there are solutions.
    – Medi1Saif ♦
    Commented Aug 1, 2019 at 9:37
  • If by sin you mean fornication then it is not allowed in any case whatsoever. If finances are the reason why people reject you, then try finding someone poorer than you are.
    – UmH ♦
    Commented Aug 2, 2019 at 12:22
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    Basically you are giving preference to maintaining your status which is transitory. Do you think giving such preference is Islamic?
    – user34650
    Commented Aug 5, 2019 at 8:48

2 Answers 2

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Zina is never allowed period. Even if you're poor, you still have chastity and purity to your name. Don't ruin that too by being both poor AND impure (unchaste), giving people even more reasons to reject you.

OP: "in order to maintain our status I can't marry someone outside our status circle. Now I have to get rich no matter what otherwise I will never be married"

Your struggle is not that you cannot get married (since you're only considering marrying into a family of rich folk and refuse to marry into a family of working class or poor folks; that is a conscious decision to reject maybe 80% of marriage prospects) . Your trial is that you cannot overcome the desire for status.

This trial (status) is causing you to choose Zina over marrying perhaps a righteous woman of poor background; causing you to consider doing what is displeasing to Allah (Zina) just to stay in the ranks of your current social circle.

So now you need to decide what your priority is; pleasing Allah (ﷻ) and guarding your chastity or pleasing people and guarding your status [with the risk of falling into sins like Zina]. If you choose the path of good, then drop the social circle [or at least drop your concern for their approval].

If you still insist on marrying into a rich family of your social circle, then your only Halal option is being patient until your financial situation changes and pray for that. But at no point is Zina an option.

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My brother in fate Think of it as a test from Allah SWT, the he wants you to marry someone of not a high social status but someone of high status with Allah SWT. Maybe that's why Allah SWT is delaying your marriage not money or status. It's going to be HARD when you think about it now but Allah SWT works in mysterious ways, have trust in Allah and Allah SWT never disappoints. Also you have to keep in mind that this life is a test in total , if you keep in mind what's on the other side of this test you would think of zina or things like that. Think positive ask Allah SWT for a marriage that can bring you and your spouse and family closer to Allah SWT. Who knows you might find someone who's status might be higher with Allah SWT and higher than you in this world , you never know remember with Allah SWT on your side anything is possible. May Allah SWT grant you ease and bless you with a spouse that will be the coolness of your eyes Aameen Shamaliwar

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