Salam. My wife is currently studying overseas and i can only see her when she comes back home twice a year and when i visit her. We just got married early this year. She stayed with me and we were very intimate for 6 months before she went overseas alone. Sometimes my sexual needs are overwhelming but I usually can control it by distracting myself with work/praying, etc. Recently, I feel pain and aching in my scrotum which prevents me from focusing at work. I can ignore my desires and thoughts but not the physical pain. This is the first time I am experiencing this and i do not know how to handle it. Usually when i have strong desires, i get wet dreams and i feel slightly better the next day but this time, it didn't happen which i believe led to this aching feeling. I have done my research and many non-Muslim websites suggested masturbation. I have never done that and will never resort to it. I would like to know other ways to cope with this.

  • May I know your age and your wife's age?
    – Rafid
    Commented Nov 7, 2019 at 10:27
  • i am 24 and she is 22
    – Remy
    Commented Nov 7, 2019 at 15:33

1 Answer 1


Assalamualaikum brother, Welcome to our community

  1. Masturbation is haram brother. and about your wife, if you are married and your wife is not near you, you can have another wife, who can stay with you (Ideally, its of no use to marry and stay away from each other) as it leads to fitna. husband and wife are supposed to stay together , so they can fulfill each others desires. Nothing is more important that fulfilling each others desires. i am not sure why your wife left alone leaving you alone (this is not acceptable) unless there is situation of life and death or you have serious issues, out of which there is no way

  2. About your sexual desires, if you choose any other haram way (masturbate, watch porn, or any other way,) then you will destroy your married relationship. which is very bad

  3. talking about solution? you should better talk to a doctor about the pain. Because as far as i know, sexual desire can never cause pain in genitals.

Best is that you must call your wife to stay with you. otherwise it will be fitna for you and your married life can be in danger too

May Allah help you in all your problems

  • 2
    Salam brother. She was already studying overseas when we met (technically we met in university but i graduated first). I don't blame her because i felt that it would be unfair for me to stop her studies halfway because i had to move back to my country. She did not intend to marry while she was studying due to the long distance relationship but i insisted because i felt that i would be haram for me to frequently visit her there if we were not married.
    – Remy
    Commented Nov 7, 2019 at 15:41
  • Right now still you have to call her back. nothing is above or beyond marriage. Call her back and explain her that you need her. dont feel anything bad. marriage Must be saved, no matter what
    – Farhan
    Commented Nov 8, 2019 at 16:13
  • 5
    That's a selfish advice.
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Nov 8, 2019 at 18:24
  • @Medi1Saif i hope you have a better solution.
    – Farhan
    Commented Nov 8, 2019 at 20:22
  • Well IMO they shouldn't have got married in first place. He may apply for a job and stay close to his wife until she finishes studying. Beside this there's no consensus on masturbation being haram and with fast and sports one may overcome these urges and Islam is not expecting us to be like animals who just need to fulfill their desires anytime anywhere.. And there's a marriage contract to respect....
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Nov 8, 2019 at 20:27

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