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Salaam

I'm a 15 year old girl who goes to an islamic private school. Because of my mum constantly urging me to wear the niqaab I decided to wear it a year back. My older sister also started to wear the niqaab on from a young age and she has had no problems with it.

Recently I've took it back off.This was because of many reasons, some being, I no longer felt like I was doing it for allah. Rather I felt like I was wearing the niqaab to keep up the reputation of my family. To not bring shame to my family which I think is absolutely ridiculous. Also I had no confidence when I was wearing the niqaab. I felt embarrassed and it was just something that I felt attracted more attention than necessary. Not only this I don't think my imaan was at that stage where I could take this huge step in covering my face permanently.

Lately my mum keeps pressuring me to wear the niqaab again.Its come to the point where I despise wanting to wear it. It's not like I dress inappropriately. I wear the abaya or something that substitutes to it for example a long dress. I don't go out alone and I definitely don't have any male friends. Knowing this my mum is practically forcing me to the point where I have refused to go outside.

My mum makes the situation out to be bigger than it is. She asked my dad to tell me and I still stood my ground. My father doesn't do or say much about it which I'm grateful for however my mum expects me to just obey her in this matter. I feel like it's oppression. My mum has stripped me off of my feelings, my own opinions and judgment. Can she really do this to me islamically?

I'm old enough to know what is right and wrong. Wearing the niqaab is a life long decision that is personal. Right now I don't have much of a choice. I know for a fact that I'm probably going to wear it in the end. Not because I want to but because I'm being forced to. Despite this I still want to put effort in to try and get my mum to understand me.

How can I do that? Is my mum sinning by doing what she is?

I love my parents and I'm not one to disrespect them like this but standing for what I believe in is something I've learned from a young age.

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Just to be sure, you have hijab but don't have niqaab? Is that it?

So you are not sinning in any way.

I have also had points in my life where my parents urged me to do something. I have also had points in my life where I urged my wife to do something.

Years later I understood that in addition to having love ( as my parents did for me, or I did for my wife) and in addition to being pious, one needs to have management skills and deeper understanding of religion.

So understand that your parents are doing this out of love. Yet they lack management skills and perhaps lack deep understanding of religion.

Parents must give their children freedom, guidance ( and knowledge of religion) but at the same time, not allow them to do everything as they wish. Sometimes a child will take horrible friends, or do drugs, etc. So while I understand their love and their push, I don't support them enforcing it 100%, since there is no نیت from you. لا اکراه فی الدین there is no compulsion in religion.

What I say to you is that as long as you are not sinning ie you have hijab, your parents should not force you. Even if you wanted to sin, forcing is not the right way to undo it.

Having that said, I would say just understand your parents lack management as most parents, most spouses do. It's not like they had 50 other daughters. Every child is different. Show them love and no matter what never raise your voice over them.

say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word

https://quran.com/17/23

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    "your parents should force you." you mean should not force you, right? – Kilise Feb 2 '17 at 16:59
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I advise you to listen to this video about Higab . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaZBxe2MlDI

  • You should know that it is the test for you , you are in this life to make the test , Allah want test you if you worship him and follow prophet mohammad - peace be upon him - or not .. And you should know that Allah said you must obey your parents except if they till you do Haram .

your question should be in another place , to replay by people have knowledge You can ask here : http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=fatwa&tab=3

  • Enforcing religion on your children and especially in this case is definitely a form of psychological abuse, but do you think it is not abuse because its done with an islamic undertone? – Ubaid Hassan Jul 8 at 15:51

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