I did Nikah 3 years ago and my rukhsati (wedding/first sleeping time/Dukhlah) was in near future. I still lived with my parents. My husband died when I was living with my parents. We never had any sexual relationship. We met in family gathering only. So is Iddah necessary for me too?
7 Answers
Iddah of death of husband
If separation occurred due to the death of the husband then wife has to observe iddah as long as the marriage contract was valid. It does not matter whether the marriage was consummated or not.
أجمع أهل العلم على أن عدة الحرة المسلمة غير ذات الحمل من وفاة زوجها أربعة أشهر وعشر، مدخولا بها أو غير مدخول بها، سواء كانت كبيرة بالغة أو صغيرة لم تبلغ
There exists consensus of the scholars that the iddah of a free Muslim woman who is not pregnant and her husband has died lasts for four months and ten days, regardless of whether the marriage was consummated with her or not, and regardless of whether she was an adult or a minor
The reason is that the texts on the iddah of death are categorical and do not make any distinction based on whether the marriage was consummated:
والذين يتوفون منكم ويذرون أزواجا يتربصن بأنفسهن أربعة أشهر وعشرا
And those who are taken in death among you and leave wives behind - they, [the wives, shall] wait four months and ten [days]
لا يحل لامرأة مسلمة تؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر أن تحد فوق ثلاثة أيام، إلا على زوجها أربعة أشهر وعشرا
It is not lawful for a Muslim woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days, except for her husband, for whom she should mourn for four months and ten days.
— Bukhari
While the texts that do make a distinction mention that they are specific to the iddah of divorce and do not mention the iddah of death. Further the hadith about the judgement given by Abdullah ibn Masu'd also confirms this:
عن عبد الله، في رجل تزوج امرأة فمات عنها ولم يدخل بها ... فقال ... وعليها العدة... فقال معقل بن سنان سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قضى به في بروع بنت واشق
Abdullah (ibn Mas'ud ) was asked about a man who had married a woman without cohabiting with her ... till he died.
Ibn Mas'ud said: ... She should observe the waiting period ('Iddah) ... Thereupon Ma'qil ibn Sinan said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) giving the same decision regarding Birwa' daughter of Washiq
Iddah of divorce
If separation occurred due to divorce then iddah is not required, provided that only a contract was formulated and the marriage was not consummated. This is mentioned in the Quran:
يا أيها الذين آمنوا إذا نكحتم المؤمنات ثم طلقتموهن من قبل أن تمسوهن فما لكم عليهن من عدة تعتدونها فمتعوهن وسرحوهن سراحا جميلا
O You who have believed, when you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them. So provide for them and give them a gracious release.
The scholars hold that the phrase تمسوهن (you have touched them) is not meant literally as touching with the hand rather it is a figure of speech which alludes to something else.
The majority of the scholars (Hanafis, Malikis, Hanbalis) hold that it alludes to being alone with the husband. According to them being in seclusion with the husband is enough to require iddah and it is not necessary for intercourse to have taken place.
أن عمر، وعليا، قالا: إذا أغلق بابا أو أرخى سترا فلها الصداق وعليها العدة
Umar and Ali said: When the door is shut or the curtain is dropped then she is entitled to mahr and iddah becomes due on her
The view of the Shafi'is is that it alludes to sexual intercourse and hence according to them iddah is only required if sexual intercourse takes place.
According to the 4 caliphs (Abu Baker, Umar, Othman, and Ali) and majority of scholars, If you and your husband were alone in a private place and you can have intercourse in that place(house, room in a hotel, etc...) . then iddah is needed even if you didn't have any intercourse (iddah is three periods as mentioned in Surah al- Baqarah verse 228)
Shafi and Mailik Madhab state: "Iddah is needed only if you had intercourse with your husband".
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Iddah (the waiting period) of husband's death must be observed whether they had sexual relationship (intercourse) or not. Let's read the fatwa of Grand Ayatollah Sistani regarding this issue:
If a woman is free and is not pregnant and her husband dies, she should observe Iddah (the waiting period) for four months and ten days, that is, she should not marry during that period even if she has entered into menopause or her husband had contracted temporary marriage with her, or he may not have had sexual intercourse with her
For further information visit this link.
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Ayatollah understands that this idda is only for mourning ...which is baseless & wrong! If pregnancy probability is not there ...idda is absent Commented Mar 24, 2021 at 6:05
Yes Iddah is necessary for you even if he did not touch you.
Ibn Mas'oud (RA) one time was asked about a man who married a woman but did not pay her dowry, and then later he died before he touched her. So Ibn Mas'oud (RA) said: "She gets a dowry that's equal to what other women get in her area, not more or less than them, and she has to do Iddah and she inherits him". So, a man named Ma'qil Ibn Sinan معقل بن سنان heard him saying that, he stood up and said: "The Prophet (PBUH) gave the same judgement for a woman named Birwa' Bint Washiq بروع بنت واشق". And when Ibn-Mas'oud heard that his judgement (Ijtihad) is similar to what the Prophet (PBUH) had said before, he was very happy.
The story above is found in Sunan At-Tirmidhi سنن الترمذي, in Book of Nikah, and the translation above is my own, so forgive my mistakes. Here is the hadith in Arabic:
حدثنا محمود بن غيلان حدثنا زيد بن الحباب حدثنا سفيان عن منصور عن إبراهيم عن علقمة عن ابن مسعود أنه سئل عن رجل تزوج امرأة ولم يفرض لها صداقا ولم يدخل بها حتى مات فقال ابن مسعود لها مثل صداق نسائها لا وكس ولا شطط وعليها العدة ولها الميراث فقام معقل بن سنان الأشجعي فقال قضى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم في بروع بنت واشق امرأة منا مثل الذي قضيت ففرح بها ابن مسعود
According to quran, The only reason for the iddet is to clarify what is in the womb. If a child is delivered the next day of iddet then it ends. Since there is no physical contact, Iddat is not necessary.
O You who have believed, when you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them.
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In Islam, if nikah has taken place then you're considered married. It doesn't matter if rukhsati happened or not.
The iddah of a widow, whether there was intercourse or not, is four months and ten days. This is from the general command of Allah in Surah al-Baqara 2:234:
If any of you die and leave widows behind, they shall wait concerning themselves four months and ten days: When they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame on you if they dispose of themselves in a just and reasonable manner. And Allah is well acquainted with what ye do.
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Still there are some situations in which Iddah is needed even if woman is married. Commented May 22, 2014 at 0:12
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You can refer into these two Ayats in the Qur'an:
"O You who have believed, when you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them. So provide for them and give them a gracious release." Qur'an 33:49
Or
"And if you divorce them before you have touched them and you have already specified for them an obligation, then [give] half of what you specified - unless they forego the right or the one in whose hand is the marriage contract foregoes it. And to forego it is nearer to righteousness. And do not forget graciousness between you. Indeed Allah , of whatever you do, is Seeing." Qur'an 2:237
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2plz try explaining more about how those verses are applicable in this situation. That would be helpful. and try formatting i.e. block quoting the verses. Commented May 12, 2015 at 16:27
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1You appear to be implicitly claiming that "dying" and "divorce" are the same thing (at least from a jurisprudent perspective); do you have any evidence at all to support this claim? As written, this answer is in sore need of elaboration (see also relevant meta discussion: meta.islam.stackexchange.com/q/1475/22). Commented May 12, 2015 at 22:40