I did Nikah 3 years ago and my rukhsati (wedding/first sleeping time/Dukhlah) was in near future. I still lived with my parents. My husband died when I was living with my parents. We never had any sexual relationship. We met in family gathering only. So is Iddah necessary for me too?
According to the 4 caliphs (Abu Baker, Umar, Othman, and Ali) and majority of scholars, If you and your husband were alone in a private place and you can have intercourse in that place(house, room in a hotel, etc...) . then iddah is needed even if you didn't have any intercourse (iddah is three periods as mentioned in Surah al- Baqarah verse 228)
Shafi and Mailik Madhab state: "Iddah is needed only if you had intercourse with your husband".
According to quran, The only reason for the iddet is to clarify what is in the womb. If a child is delivered the next day of iddet then it ends. Since there is no physical contact, Iddat is not necessary.
O You who have believed, when you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them.
In Islam, if nikah has taken place then you're considered married. It doesn't matter if rukhsati happened or not.
The iddah of a widow, whether there was intercourse or not, is four months and ten days. This is from the general command of Allah in Surah al-Baqara 2:234:
If any of you die and leave widows behind, they shall wait concerning themselves four months and ten days: When they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame on you if they dispose of themselves in a just and reasonable manner. And Allah is well acquainted with what ye do.
Iddah (the waiting period) of husband's death must be observed whether they had sexual relationship (intercourse) or not. Let's read the fatwa of Grand Ayatollah Sistani regarding this issue:
If a woman is free and is not pregnant and her husband dies, she should observe Iddah (the waiting period) for four months and ten days, that is, she should not marry during that period even if she has entered into menopause or her husband had contracted temporary marriage with her, or he may not have had sexual intercourse with her
For further information visit this link.
Yes Iddah is necessary for you even if he did not touch you.
Ibn Mas'oud (RA) one time was asked about a man who married a woman but did not pay her dowry, and then later he died before he touched her. So Ibn Mas'oud (RA) said: "She gets a dowry that's equal to what other women get in her area, not more or less than them, and she has to do Iddah and she inherits him". So, a man named Ma'qil Ibn Sinan معقل بن سنان heard him saying that, he stood up and said: "The Prophet (PBUH) gave the same judgement for a woman named Birwa' Bint Washiq بروع بنت واشق". And when Ibn-Mas'oud heard that his judgement (Ijtihad) is similar to what the Prophet (PBUH) had said before, he was very happy.
The story above is found in Sunan At-Tirmidhi سنن الترمذي, in Book of Nikah, and the translation above is my own, so forgive my mistakes. Here is the hadith in Arabic:
حدثنا محمود بن غيلان حدثنا زيد بن الحباب حدثنا سفيان عن منصور عن إبراهيم عن علقمة عن ابن مسعود أنه سئل عن رجل تزوج امرأة ولم يفرض لها صداقا ولم يدخل بها حتى مات فقال ابن مسعود لها مثل صداق نسائها لا وكس ولا شطط وعليها العدة ولها الميراث فقام معقل بن سنان الأشجعي فقال قضى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم في بروع بنت واشق امرأة منا مثل الذي قضيت ففرح بها ابن مسعود
You can refer into these two Ayats in the Qur'an:
"O You who have believed, when you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them. So provide for them and give them a gracious release." Qur'an 33:49
"And if you divorce them before you have touched them and you have already specified for them an obligation, then [give] half of what you specified - unless they forego the right or the one in whose hand is the marriage contract foregoes it. And to forego it is nearer to righteousness. And do not forget graciousness between you. Indeed Allah , of whatever you do, is Seeing." Qur'an 2:237