What limits, if any, are there on the Islamic duty to help the needy?

Question

In the Qur'an there are several verses that tell you to help the needy and that being a good Muslim means helping those less fortunate than you.

However, I always see or hear of people who live in this country and are straining themselves to help their families that are in another country. Their family may be low on cash, yet they still have valuables like gold, or a car, etc. that they won't sell to get by for a while until they can get back on their feet.

Everyone obviously wants to help their family, however at what point are you going beyond your Islamic duty and just being used?

Is demanding that they find a way to help themselves first listening to the shaitan?

Answer 1

Short answer is no.

Supporting your family is a considered charity. link here

Narrated Abu Masud Al-Badri:
The Prophet (PBUH) said, "A man's spending on his family is a deed of charity."

حَدَّثَنَا مُسْلِمٌ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، عَنْ عَدِيٍّ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ يَزِيدَ، سَمِعَ أَبَا مَسْعُودٍ الْبَدْرِيَّ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ "‏ نَفَقَةُ الرَّجُلِ عَلَى أَهْلِهِ صَدَقَةٌ ‏"‏‏.

Further, it yields greatest reward. link here

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:
Of the dinar you spend as a contribution in Allah's path, or to set free a slave, or as a sadaqa given to a needy, or to support your family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spent on your family.

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَزُهَيْرُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، وَأَبُو كُرَيْبٍ - وَاللَّفْظُ لأَبِي كُرَيْبٍ - قَالُوا حَدَّثَنَا وَكِيعٌ، عَنْ سُفْيَانَ، عَنْ مُزَاحِمِ بْنِ زُفَرَ، عَنْ مُجَاهِدٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ دِينَارٌ أَنْفَقْتَهُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ وَدِينَارٌ أَنْفَقْتَهُ فِي رَقَبَةٍ وَدِينَارٌ تَصَدَّقْتَ بِهِ عَلَى مِسْكِينٍ وَدِينَارٌ أَنْفَقْتَهُ عَلَى أَهْلِكَ أَعْظَمُهَا أَجْرًا الَّذِي أَنْفَقْتَهُ عَلَى أَهْلِكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

We can agree that if you both spend on your family and do charity to others, then it is better. Now you might ask, what if a person only spends on his family and take care of his family but does not do other charity to other people. This is a harder question.

From the hadith, he/she is doing good, just not doing all the good that he/she can do. I wouldn't go as strong as saying he/she is enticed by Satan. I simply consider that he/she is doing good, but he/she can do better. This is only my opinion.

And Allah knows the best.