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Five years ago me and my ex husband concluded our English divorce. In court he declared that we were divorced when on the stand infront of a judge (court case re: domestic abuse/child safety reasons)

Prior to that: -my ex husband declared in a family meeting that if I wanted a divorce he would divorce me. -stated in an email that we should divorce and go our separate ways. That he was willing to divorce me over his mum. -I have a text message declaring he would like a divorce

Since parting 5 years ago he understood us to be totally divorced according to Islamic rulings, remarried and has a 1 year old daughter. He has now recently divorced his second wife.

Does this mean that we are still married or that requirements for talaaq have been satisfied?

Currently I have had a marriage proposal and would like to accept but need confirmation before going ahead.

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  • On all occasions mentioned above (and more via email and texts) I believe it was said with intent based upon the context of the conversation. He does pay money towards the kids maintenance as outlined by the courts and agreed between the two parties. In terms of financial support for me directly, I have not been offered a penny. Both parties are not on talking terms and this has been like this for the past 5 years. All communication regarding the children has been done through the courts; the children see him on a regular basis. Texts are sent between us strictly regarding children's welfare.
    – Sarah
    Commented Feb 17, 2016 at 13:06
  • I suggest you to read the following sites “as more helpful info.” . Everything About Divorce (Complete Book) . / . Conditions Of Divorce? . / . How To Do Divorce? . / . Divorce-Khul’? . / .
    – اللهم صل علی محمد و آل محمد
    Commented Feb 21, 2016 at 10:49

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Aww,

Your husband said "we were divorced" in court. The only way the two of you could have been divorced is if he said the words beforehand. Thus, him saying in a court "we were divorced" is either a statement of fact, or alternatively, if he hadn't divorced you before, you are divorced now.

thus, you need not worry. Legally and islamically, you are divorced and are free to marry another.

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  • Jazakum Allah Khair for the answer.
    – Atata
    Commented Feb 17, 2016 at 14:32
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    Jazakallah Khair everyone for some clarity to a very odd situation!
    – Sarah
    Commented Feb 17, 2016 at 14:46
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There are certain phrases called "metaphors for divorce" (such as "go home to your parents") that are considered to be a divorce if the intent of the husband was to divorce (more on this here).

In this source it is said that if the companionship ends (you are no longer living together) and he doesn't support you financially, you can divorce.

But in all cases, you must understand that, in Islam, the divorce is unilaterally placed in the hands of the husband, if the husband has not clearly said "I divorce you", or given a metaphor for divorce and meant it, you can ask an religious authority to pronounce the divorce in your stead.

If you are in talking terms, however, a simpler solution is simply to ask him to make it clear. If that is not possible, ask a religious authority.

But if I was in your situation, and was convinced, as you said, that "he understood us to be totally divorced according to Islamic rulings", I would consider this marriage over by his use of a "metaphor for divorce" and meaning it.

You can seek counsel from a religious authority if you are not sure, but I don't see how a companionship discontinued for 5 years with no financial support can still be considered a marriage.

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  • Jazakum Allah Khair for you answer. Just a quick comment if you don't mind, it would be very helpful to the person who asked the question, and to all of us, if you could try your best to make the answer short, yet informative. Some people, for some reason, don't like to click on those links and read the entire answer to find an answer to their question. Please don't misunderstand me :)
    – Atata
    Commented Feb 17, 2016 at 14:35
  • I do understand you. However, I consider one of the immense plagues of the Ummah the generalization of gullibility. People give their advice and opinion on religious matters on a whim, without providing sources or justifications, and, more troubling, people accepting these advices as if they were valid. If one is not willing, in the pursuit of truth, to produce the minimal effort of reading what is presented and checking the sources, then I consider such one unworthy of the truth. I realize not everyone has the time for ijtihad, but 5 minutes should not be an unbearable sacrifice.
    – ZakC
    Commented Feb 17, 2016 at 16:12

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