I am suffering from ADHD and I am also autistic. I can be called intelligent but I struggle a lot on personal and mental level due to these problems. My mind is like a fire cracker, new and sometimes absurd thoughts spurt out of it occasionally. Its difficult for me to switch my mind off. Some of those thoughts can be considered religious impropriety. I feel very ashamed and become frantic when these kinds of thoughts come to my mind, but I however struggle a lot to remain a committed Muslim and have deepest reverence for Allah. However, I fear that having these thoughts are a disrespect to Allah and that breaks me. I would like to be a devoted follower of Islam with deepest reverence for Allah, devoid of any such frivolities and believe one day I just might.
Nonetheless, is my struggle "greater jihad"? Will these thought offend Allah? Will he be angry or abandon me for having these thoughts which are rather out of my control and not intentional?
Also are there any "words" I can say, which can help me with this problem? For example, when I have evil thoughts for others, I rhyme "There is no power other than Allah, Allah Uh-Akbar" and most of those times these thoughts stop.
P.S I have recently converted without knowledge of my family and they are an ardent opposer of Islam, thus neither can I offer namaz nor fast in ramadan(I live with them), though I very much want to. Also, I don't know Arabic, so please prefer English translations.