When picking a woman/man for marriage, there are 4 categories as seen through an Islamic perspective:

  • Religion
  • Beauty
  • Lineage
  • Money

My question is concerned with the beauty aspect. Hence, when talking to a man/woman about marriage (of course talking while acknowledging Islamic boundaries), is it allowed to ask them some sex-related questions? If yes, what are the limits, if any, to one asking such questions?

Such questions can involve talks about STDs, body parts/shape, etc etc.

2 Answers 2


sir, in islam anything is permissible until proven haraam(thats what i was said). and try to keep it decent and modest without making it like the main purpose for marital relationship(eventhough its a bonus) and not discussing filth. you may talk about body hygiene and treatment, honeymoon and wedding night, having children and maybe about the bed.

avoid nasty things like pornography, dirty joke and other not so good that are proven.

and allah knows best

  • Thanks for the response. Ofc, such questions aren't the only focus on marriage but rather an addition. But I was thinking, how do you propose I ask her these questions. I MEAN certainly can't ask them in front of mahram as it's very personal to the individual. Is it okay to ask them about such issue privately, such as through text, which allows for the individual to not be physical alone in a room, thus allowing satanic intentions. Jul 29, 2020 at 16:41

Instead of that, why not focus on key questions that determine and will inevitably affect your married life? Questions like

  1. What do you want/not want in your future spouse?
  2. If I had to ask your friends to describe you, what would she/he say? and the like.

Yes, one can't be too serious and would want to make jokes. There are lots of things to joke about. avoid anything sexual because naturally it triggers the reproductive instinct, which will demand satisfaction. And you are not at that moment in the situation of satisfying each other's needs. Hence, avoid such discussion. When you are married, talk about all things except for those that breach the limits of the shariah.

  • Yes, I understand. The questions you have linked are not the ones I am concerned with...but rather the more intimate questions. Is it possible that since such questions are so personal we can ask them rather remotely, maybe through text? It's important to mention that these questions are quite important, just as important as the ones mentioned. Aug 3, 2020 at 13:21
  • 1
    It depends... If they are related to the physic of the person you intend to marry, like how the area of their chest looks like or overall body structure, then you are allowed to make arrangements where she dresses modestly but revealing her structure for you do be satisfied and make a decision - vice versa. The reason intimate questions don't get allowed is because they generate the desire for committing haram. But if the questions are relevant to your future, you could ask that provided they become irrelevant or too late after marriage. Allah knows best Aug 4, 2020 at 8:43

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