As-salamu alaykum. Last week I converted to Islam. My wife is supportive of me doing so, but she doesn't want me to try and convert her or my children. They do haram things such as cooking and eating bacon in the morning. My wife has been someone to require equal say in everything and sometimes superseding me. I don't know how to re-establish control in our relationship. I love her and respect her. It just seems difficult for me to complete my obligations to Allah(SWT). I feel trapped and I don't know how to proceed. Allahu Akbar!

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    Wa alaikum musalam. Alhamdulilah, welcome to Islam! I'm also a revert in a Christian family. My advice is to be kind to them, make dua that Allah guides them (you can't make any other Dua for non believers), and إن شاء الله through your good actions they will see the good of Islam and show an interest in the religion. Just be patient and trust in Allah. – moinudin Apr 12 at 4:39
  • Salam, you should probably speak to a qualified Muslim scholar near you rather than seek advise for such an important situation online. – The Z Apr 12 at 21:47
  • Assalamu Alaikum brother. Welcome to Islam – GyL 209 Sep 10 at 10:18


You are not in a unique situation as many other people have also converted to Islam without their spouce doing so. You are fortunate that she is supportive as that is not the case for many. The best thing for you to do is be kind to her and the rest of your family to the best of your ability and don't try to force your beliefs on them. Note, they are not required to follow your dietary code so you should not try to make them do so. As for you wife requiring equal say in everything and sometimes superseding you, that may not always be a bad thing. And Allah says in Surah Nisah 4:19: "O believers! It is not permissible for you to inherit women against their will or mistreat them to make them return some of the dowry ˹as a ransom for divorce˺—unless they are found guilty of adultery. Treat them fairly. If you happen to dislike them, you may hate something which Allah turns into a great blessing."

Allah knows best.

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