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I am a 25-year old Muslim living in the UK with my parents and siblings, and I have been in love with a non-Muslim man for 3 years. We agree this will not lead anywhere, both out families would not agree.

We thought about him converting, so I asked my mum if I can get married to a convert, but she said no. I don’t want to go against my parents decision, plus the Nikah wouldn't be valid without my parents consent.

I don’t want to accept anyone else. So, can a girl tell her parents that she doesn’t want to get married at all?

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  • Alex A Thank you for answering my question. It gives me peace of mind.
    – Unknown
    Commented Apr 28, 2018 at 16:47
  • No problem. I hope your situation will become better if God wish.
    – Alex A
    Commented Apr 28, 2018 at 17:18

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In the name of God, the Beneficent, Most Merciful

All praise is due to God (ﷻ), the Lord of the Worlds. The Beneficent, the Merciful. Master of the Day of Judgement, and God’s Peace and Blessings be upon Muhammad (ﷺ), his family, his noble Companions, and all those who follow them.

Your question: Can a girl tell her parents that she doesn’t want to get married at all?

Answer: if there is no risk of committing sins and fornication, it is not haram not to get married. However, if there is not an obligatory reason, I recommend you to marry a morally justified Muslim man.

Hazrat Prophet (pbuh) stated the benefits of marriage as follows while addressing a group of young people: "O young people! If any of you can afford to marry, he should marry at once because marriage protects the eyes from haram best; it is the stronghold of one’s sexual organs. If you cannot afford to marry, you should perform fasting because fasting weakens the lust... (Bukhari, Sawm, 1, Nikah, 2 3; Muslim, Nikah,1, 3; Abu Dawud Nikah, 1, Ibn Majah, Nikah, 1).

”Those who fear for themselves from falling into what is forbidden if they do not get married. For those, it is mandatory to marry in the opinion of the general jurisprudence scholars, as this protects them from sinning and provides a legitimate means [to fulfill their desires] through marriage.”

So in here we learn that it is much preferable if you get married so that you won’t fall into any major sin. God Almighty created men and women as company for one another, and so that they can become parents and live in peace and calmness according to the commandments of God Almighty. God says in Holy Quran:

”And among His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect.” (Quran, 30:21)

Have you ever asked you self, ”what are the benefits of getting married?” Well, here’s a list of what are the benefits:

1) Marriage makes an incomplete human being a complete one, our Prophet Muhammad (SAW)says, “No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of God than through marriage”

2) It is necessary for making family (for children).

3) Marriage is one of the most liked Sunnah in Islam as our beloved Prophet (SAW) married and also encouraged others.

4) It provides tranquility, peace, and security.

5) It is a bond of love not just only between two persons but between two families.

6) It is a source to experience love and happiness.

Marriage is an act pleasing God Almighty because it is in accordance with his commandments that husband and wife love each other and help each other to make efforts to continue the human race and raise their children to become true servants of God.

  • by doing like this you’re obeying the Prophet and his Sunnah because he said: ”O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry.” Al Bukhari)

  • Marriage guarantees physical and spiritual chastity and peace of a person and keeps the couple away from the downfall and trap of the Satan. God SWT mentioned in verse about chastity: “And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)” (Quran, 23:5).

    For more informations about the importance and benefits of marriage, go here:Importance and Benefits of Marriage according to Islam

I understand your feelings towards him and that you want to get married with him according to your description, but you could tell your parents that, in Quran it says clearly that it is not permitted for you to get married to a non Muslim unless he converts to Islam and try to ask him to convert to Islam, find ways so that he will accept Islam and ask him to accept Islam for the sake of God and then go ahead and marry him if you truly want this. God Says:

“Do not marry idolatresses until they embrace faith. A faithful slave girl is better than an idolatress, though she should impress you. And do not marry [your daughters] to idolaters until they embrace faith…” (2: 221)

CONCLUSION: You can stay single but with condition not to fall into fornication nor into Adultery because they are major sins and if you feel that you’ll fall into one of those 2 then you have to get married according to Islam.

Sources:

  1. Questions in Islam
  2. SALAM ISLAM
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  • How can you say 'yes' when the hadith is a direct command saying "If any of you can afford to marry, he should marry at once"? It says nothing about wanting to get married. It says if you can afford it, you must.
    – The Z
    Commented Apr 28, 2018 at 16:28
  • @TheZ How about now?
    – Alex A
    Commented Apr 28, 2018 at 16:30
  • +1 and you might want to "recommend" strongly as it is a direct command of the Prophet (SAW).
    – The Z
    Commented Apr 28, 2018 at 16:36

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