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I leant my friend £400 no questions asked as he was my best friend. He had previosly paid me back straightaway when he borrowed money so I didn't doubt him. We have known each other for over 20 years.

He ended up using the money for 2 holidays and since he cane back from these holidays he hasnt spoke to me. I confronted him and he said he was sorry and will pay me back when he has the money. He then went on another trip to Cyprus. He went on this trip knowing he wont have a job after as he was refused authorised leave so now hasnt got a job to even get money.

He has since not spoken to me, avoided me when before we were like brothers. He is the most religious and empathetic, most thoughtful person I know so I dont understand why he would do this to me. I could never do anything for myself until I have paid off any debt.

I need to know if theres any ruling on not paying off your debt and spending on yourself.

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In Islam, debt is not a state that is encouraged to be in. In fact the Prophet (SAW) used to seek refuge from being in debt:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) used to make supplication during the prayer saying: "O Allah, I seek refuge in Thee from the punishment of the grave; I seek refuge in Thee from the trial of the Antichrist; I seek refuge in Thee from the trial of life and the trial of death; O Allah, I seek refuge in Thee from sin and debt." Someone said to him: How often you seek refuge from debt! He replied: When a man is in debt, he talks and tells lies, makes promises and breaks them. (Abi Dawud)

And people are encourage to pay off their debts in the best way (on time and with good manners):

“The best of you - or among the best of you - are those who pay off their debts in the best way. (Ibn Majah)”

And people who are wealthy and still do not pay off debt are admonished:

Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Procrastination (delay) in repaying debts by a wealthy person is injustice." (Bukhari)

So, there is no place where it says people should 'spend on themselves' rather than pay off their debts. (In fact Islam discourages excessive 'spending on yourself' in all situations). In fact believers are encouraged to be free from debt in all situations:

“The soul of the believer is attached to his debt until it is paid off.” (Ibn Majah)

Now, about your specific situation: Your loan has no defined repayment date, and maybe your friend has forgotten about it. So, I would encourage you to gently remind him about it. Don't be too harsh, although it is your right to be, as Islam also at the same time encourages the creditor to be easy with the debt payment.

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