According to Hadith, the Messenger (p.b.u.h) admonishes us to respect the disabled and to be helpful.
There is nothing said about disabled grooms or brides. If a woman freely decides to be your wife, she will do it for your qualities and she will know that she will have to live with the obstacles linked to your disability, and maybe she likes to be helpful.
You can't do tayammum if the conditions allowing it are not fulfilled. And those are either the absence of water or the use of water being harmful (causing harm for example death risk).
If you have urine incontinence you must perform one wudu' for every prayer right before you want to pray and don't care about any drops that come after you've done it right, ...