I know a man who I loved. I know this is considered wrong in Islam. But, he wanted to marry me.

Of course, things were all good. His family was OK with it and then his sister did istakhara for our marriage. She said the result was negative.

We both want to be with each other, we are both unable to do anything else but cry over this because of how much we are missing each other.

I seek guidance in this matter: what do you think that I should do? I kept on praying and did Qu'ran khatam. But it didn't work. We both decided to only marry with full family support but, from what I have said above, this is not possible.

I heard istakhara gives peace of mind, but I've not found peace at all.

Please don't focus on the haram of what we have done, or say that we have gone against Islam. I understand it was a mistake, but he intended to marry me and a mistake once done is done.

I cannot simply forget him, and I seek your advice in this matter.

  • Only those people who are concerned with the matter are supposed to do Istikhara, as his sister isn't going to get married she couldn't do Istikhara for you! As Istikhara is a consultation for oneself to ask for guidance in doing a decision!
    – Medi1Saif
    Nov 6, 2015 at 11:29

1 Answer 1


Assalamualaikum sister,


First of all, there is NOTHING like Istakhra done by someone else in Islam :) Istakhara is a Dua, and when a person recites the dua, it's for his own action that if it's good for him or not. But most people these days just read the Arabic (without understanding) and think that Istakhara is done, which is wrong.

Secondly, there is NOTHING like the RESULT of istakhara as well. No one sees white, red things or black clouds as a result of istakhara. As it's JUST a dua, so do you see any result of a normal dua? Then how do you expect some special result, like a dream or bad/good happening of istakhara??

Here is a translation of Istakhara. Read it yourself and judge if what I said above is true or not (read with understanding, please).

According to a traditional report transmitted on the authority of Muhammad ibn al-Munkadir, it was Jabir ibn 'Abdi'llah (may Allah be well pleased with him and with his father) who said:

"Allah's Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) used to teach us how to seek guidance in choosing the best option available in a practical enterprise [al-istikhara fi 'l-amr], just as he would sometimes teach us a Chapter [Sura] from the Qur'an. :

"'If one of you is concerned about some practical undertaking, or about making plans for a journey, he should perform two cycles of ritual prayer [rak'atain], not as an obligatory observance [farida], but voluntarily. Then he should say:

'"O Allah, I ask You to show me what is best, through Your knowledge, and I ask You to empower me, through Your power, and I beg You to grant me Your tremendous favor, for You have power, while I am without power, and You have knowledge, while I am without knowledge, and You are the One who knows all things invisible. O Allah, if You know that this undertaking is in the best interests of my religion, my life in this world, and my life in the Hereafter, and can yield successful results in both the short term and the long term, then make it possible for me and make it easy for me, and then bless me in it. If not, then turn it away from me, and make it easy for me to do well, wherever I may happen to be, and make me content with Your verdict, O Most Merciful of the merciful.'"

More information is here: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?ID=1056

  • thank you so much because our hearts are not willing to accept it and i guess this is what it means thank you so so much jazakAllah o khair
    – nida
    Oct 24, 2013 at 17:07
  • and yeah we both have decided to do it ourselves shukriya
    – nida
    Oct 24, 2013 at 17:16
  • 1
    @nida, yes, Ishthikhara for marriage should be done by people to get married than any others. Oct 25, 2013 at 5:16

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