Should / Can a Muslim make arrangements for his grave before dying?

Question

As a Muslim, is it your own responsibility to make arrangements for your grave? Or can and should you leave it to others to sort out after you've passed away?

For example, what if you live in a country with hardly any Muslims, where you have no relatives or family, other than your wife and very very young children.

Are you supposed to leave the burden of your death and the arrangement of your grave on your wife's shoulder, so she does all the running around to arrange your funeral and the plot of land to bury you in, and look after the very young children at the same time?

Answer 1

A hadith says that

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Remember often the destroyer of pleasures,” by which he meant death.

[Sunan ibn Majah, Book of Asceticism, Number 4258, Sahih]

Which tells us that we should remember death frequently. Based on this hadith and many other Islamic sources, we come to know that remembering death is a good thing for us, as this world is not a place to stay forever. Everyone shall taste death. So from this perspective, (in my personal opinion) it is best to arrange a place for your own grave before you die. There are two benefits of it

• You will keep reminding yourself that the place, where you will be buried, which will keep you away from attaching yourself to luxuries and sins of this world

• You will not become burden on anyone after you die.

Answer 2

Allah and his Messenger did not command us to make grave arrangements. So, it's not our responsibility to do it. If it was, there would be an ayah or a Sahih hadith from the Prophet telling us. But we don't have anything mentioning that.

Answer 3

As a Muslim, is it your own responsibility to make arrangements for your grave?

Nope. This is not recorded anywhere Prophet (pbuh) asking us to do this .

Or can and should you leave it to others to sort out after you've passed away?

As you discussed in the rest of your question, you need not bother if you're in a Muslim community, but if you're not, then let's see further. But, to simply answer "Can you do this", since it is a new issue, it depends on the situation which you're involved in. Can't say for sure in general that if it is allowed or not allowed. But, simply continuing with your example...

what if you live in a country with hardly any Muslims, where you have no relatives or family, other than your wife and very very young children

Nice example. But, in general I would like to say, believers are commanded to migrate. More can be read from here.

And I'm not sure, up to what extent the arrangements of grave you're talking about. But, one important thing to consider is this...

Verily, Allah! With Him (Alone) is the knowledge of the Hour, He sends down the rain, and knows that which is in the wombs. No person knows what he will earn tomorrow, and no person knows in what land he will die. Verily, Allah is All-Knower, All-Aware (of things). (Qur'an 31:34)

So, keeping in mind that thing, I can say it is slightly impractical to achieve the thing which you're describing.

Are you supposed to leave the burden of your death and the arrangement of your grave on your wife's shoulder, so she does all the running around to arrange your funeral and the plot of land to bury you in, and look after the very young children at the same time?

Reserving a plot of land is directly linked to this question "Can I reserve my favorite graveyard / burial ground / cemetery for myself?" and it depends on what your intentions are. Here, your intentions are not so as to burden your wife, so I think it is OK, if you reserve a plot. But your intentions should be plain and simple saying "If I die in this place, then so and so is the place I've reserved and you can bury me there". No issues.

May the creator guide us all.