I hate my husband. I can't stand him at all! We have been living separately for 18 months now. We have a daughter aged 2.

Though he is a bad husband, he is a good parent. I do not wish to deprive my daughter of fatherly care which is very important, especially considering a girl's safety these days.

I do not know what to do. Either I live with him with all the bitterness I have in my heart (teaching my daughter the few choices one can have in life, and a wrong notion of how spouses behave with each other), or live separately and deprive her of seeing her father everyday.

I really don't know what to do. No reconciliation is possible between us. I literally don't even care if he's dead or alive. I'm not exaggerating how I feel for him, and please don't judge me. This whole marriage affair was one big mistake. And I know have to pay for it! It was an arranged marriage, and we were having problems from the first week itself!

My question is: Will I be sinning if I divorce him? Will it amount to arrogance on my part to divorce him? (I'm thinking about those sisters who have husbands worse than mine and they put up with them in patience.)


2 Answers 2


You should divorce.

Divorce is there fore a reason. It does not necessarily has to come because your husband is extremely cruel to you or he does not look after you very well. If there is no love in marriage and you do seem to imply, he is not a good husband, you should divorce but in a good way.

It seems you care about your daughter. I am sure you will be there for her and give her plenty of love. Also it seems, you will not deprive your husband of being their for his daughter. I know it is not a good thing for a child, but you can only do so much.

I do not think it would be a sin on you. It would be hard to find a references for such type of cases from Hadith. Hadith is generally biased towards men (I wont go in detail). Make a good judgement. Be kind to your husband and your daughter. Talk to him and involve some family members who can make things better and easier for all of you. I would suggest to go for separation first, which is pre divorce thing in United States. If you both agree during the separation period that it is not worth living together, then you can call it a quit.

I by no means like and encourage divorce. But if it is there, it has to be there for a reason. I wish you all the best.


You ought to pay attention to some significant points. The initial point is that it is pretty a famous sentence that talaq is the most Makruh Mabah. (Namely divorce is a Mobah (permissible) act which is considered as the most Makruh practice.). In other word it could be declared that it is a permissible that Allah generally doesn't like it, because the relationship between the husband and wife…). Of course it doesn't mean that permanently it is considered as a bad practice, since occasionally it could be counted as a better decision (of course solely sometimes).

Then it could be inferred that in some specific situations you are allowed to divorce. As @Muslim1 mentioned, you can divorce. Of course I don’t recommend you in case that your reasons are not good enough to divorce. Actually you should notice that in some specific situations it could be the right of the wives to request for the divorce. Then in those situation it is your right to divorce, otherwise I don’t recommend you to divorce (at least because of the future of your child). Furthermore you’d better strive to remove your difficulties and trust Allah and keep on your life. Beside, you looks as a wife who is able to bear difficulties of the life (since it could be inferred from you sentence that you agree it is possible to stand the current hard situation, as you yourself declared "(thinking about those sisters who have husbands worse than mine and they put up with it in patience)". Other point is that to having a good life, you(and other wives and husbands) should have devotion to some extent, otherwise... Anyhow, let’s see some of the items which allows you to apply for the divorce, such as:

  • In case the husband doesn't pay the alimony.

  • In case the husband is very misbehaving as much that it is not bearable for the wife to continue the life.

  • Having a dangerous disease (husband) as a disease which is not treatable as much would be dangerous for the health of the wife.

  • In case the husband be psychotic.

And some other items which you’d better to study them completely, you’d be able to recognize regarding positive of negative aspect of your practice (divorce).




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