My father treated my mother poorly, leading to their divorce after about three years of marriage. I was born around the time of their separation and was raised by my mother and her family. My mother has been exceptional throughout my life—she never made me feel unloved and provided for me in every possible way. Although she rarely talks about my father, I can sense the pain and sorrow in her words, and I deeply admire her bravery in handling everything.
Now, at 23, I am struggling financially while attending university. I sought financial assistance through the court, but my father claimed he was prevented from seeing me. However, his actions suggest otherwise. He refuses to help financially and denies his wealth, even though he admitted to having money outside of court. When we first spoke in court, he showed no affection, only complaints about my mother, and demanded that I beg for his forgiveness for not contacting him, despite it being our first meeting.
Since then, he occasionally calls, but only to complain. His calls reveal a self-centered attitude; he yells at me, insisting I should apologize for not reaching out sooner, accuses my mother of failing to raise me properly, and claims we know nothing about Islam. His financial help has been minimal—once to buy a fridge and once to cover half of my dues—and he frequently brings this up as if it were a significant contribution. He makes false accusations and portrays himself as the victim.
I am torn between confronting him about his poor behavior and holding back my frustrations. I want to tell him that he has been a bad father, that he is self-centered, and that he doesn’t deserve my affection. However, I refrain from doing so mainly because I do not want to anger Allah and because I hoped he might eventually agree to support me financially. But after numerous attempts, it seems his toxic behavior is unlikely to change, which affects me deeply, especially as I am already on medication to manage my mental health.
I am questioning whether it would be sinful to express these painful truths to him or to raise my voice in frustration. I also wonder if it would be sinful to cut off contact with him, given that I now see him as self-centered and self-pitying. I long for a return to the time before I knew him, when I felt more at peace.
