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I tell you my sad story, starting by asking for forgiveness from the Glorious One. (I'm crying as I write)

I am 26 years old man and I have never ever touched any woman, kissed, flirted or anything like that. I respect them and I don't want other men to do that to my future wife or daughter, if one day I have

Alhamdulillah direct fornication is far away in my life.

When I see (without desire, and I try to avoid looking most of the time) my poorly dressed sisters it makes me angry and not pleased.

So in that great sense, even though I really want to get married, I haven't touched anyone because I want a virgin woman that no man has ever touched.

The fact is that years ago, I had an addiction to seeing indecent images (since I was 13yo, I hate Internet, why exists?) and I craved attention and I shared my private parts (without my face obviously) in a male Telegram group for a very limited time and then I deleted everything. It happened a few more times. I think it was a total of 7 times in my entire life.

I repented to God. Now I am at another advanced level of chastity.

I do special repentance salats every day for this specific sin that I did. Special charity and special dua, every day.

Now I have a doubt. It's very unlikely (because I deleted everything after a few minutes) but let's imagine that someone has taken those images (without my face or anything recognizable and shared them with strangers, being a man and not a women (because they have more attention, of course), do I still gain sins?

Am I still a virgin? I don't deserve to look for a virgin woman to marry?

I repeat, I have never touched any woman in my life, not even gotten close. But I have shown my awrah' to men in moments where I did not control my desires well but virtually, in a group of strangers from another country on male Telegram pervert group.

God forgive us.

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First, you probably were not adult at the time when you were 13, so not a sin in the common sense. However, that dose not mean a child can do anything and that will be ok. So good that you feel sorry about it and try to repent.

Second, repenting has several steps in a Hadeeth from Imam Ali, PBUH, starting by asking Allah for forgiveness. But repenting needs also the sinner to compensate the consequences of what he has did wrong. This is where you are so scared about. But can you do anything in this regard, or you can't? You have probably done your best to control the consequences or compensate them, and Allah will not ask you what you cannot. However, I believe you should ask Allah AWJ to compensate the situation for you, like for example by making those who have watched your photos to ignore/forget it, and to compensate for those who might have gone astray, or have fallen into sins, and there have been counted a share for you in every sin that they have committed since then. You can also pray for them, so that Allah helps them quit their sins, and be guided to the safe shore.

Third, stop being hopeless, as no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people (إِنَّهُ لَا يَيْأَسُ مِنْ رَوْحِ اللَّهِ إِلَّا الْقَوْمُ الْكَافِرُونَ). Becoming hopeless is a mean Devil exploits to make the people tired, weak, and ready to cross further borders when they conclude they are considered as guilty no matter if they avoid the Evil or not. Maybe you can manage to have a role in making the web a better/safer place to live, so to rescue people like the ones now in your previous lustful state, a compensation method maybe, if you have or can acquire the ability.

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  • Thanks a lot. But I shared the images when I was 20-25yo old. Because the addiction to see those content since 13yo. I can still seek a virgin girl? Commented 2 days ago
  • Those who are sorry are not alike those who are not sorry. Even I have seen Hadeeth saying if you are sorry so it is itself repentance (at least for some sins). So why not, when it comes to Allah, you should always have good faith in Him, as there are Ahadeeth saying He will treat you the way you expect Him/wish (at least in many situations). There are other Ahadeeth saying it is impossible that you hope in Allah's mercy and He avoid. We should learn from our past, so never repeat that, and never blame the others for committing similar sins, and remember if you are safe now that's a mercy
    – owari
    Commented 2 days ago
  • from Him, not some ability that you have by your own. If you assume it to be yours, then you will be like Qarun who said I have my wealth due to my own knowledge, and Allah shew how weak Qarun was really.
    – owari
    Commented 2 days ago
  • Any other help? Commented yesterday
  • @AnonZyAnonZy, that was my 5 cents, maybe others can help you better, or maybe if you have other questions you can open new Qs.
    – owari
    Commented yesterday

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