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I am married and have a daughter. Initially, to keep my wife happy, I lived with her in her parents' house. However, over time, she has become increasingly lazy and disobedient towards me, prioritizing her parents' wishes over mine. She now refuses to live with me in our own home but still asks for financial support. While I provide monthly nafkah for her, I'm considering limiting additional expenses since she's not living with me. Should I continue giving her all the money she asks for, or just the monthly support while she stays with her parents?

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  • We are not a peer support group. Avoid sharing personal information, ask a focused and clear question on general teachings and format it into paragraphs rather than posting a wall of text. A wife commits Nashuz if she remains out of the husband's home without permission and when that happens the husband is permitted to cut off her maintenance.
    – UmH
    Commented May 20 at 2:07

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It is obligatory on the wife to stay in the accommodation provided by her husband. It is forbidden for to go out of it except:

  • When the husband gives her permission
  • When she has a valid excuse, for example if the house catches fire

If the wife violates this then she is committing disobedience to the husband (نشوز) and is no longer eligible for maintenance expenses (نفقة) till the time that she returns. You do not have to pay her any money at all, be it for monthly necessities (food, clothing and rent) or for any other purpose.

You do have to provide maintenance for your children, but this does not need to be through maintaining your wife unless your children are still fetuses in her womb or are infants who have to be breastfed by their mother.

فمتى امتنعت من فراشه، أو خرجت من منزله بغير إذنه، أو امتنعت من الانتقال معه إلى مسكن مثلها، أو من السفر معه، فلا نفقة لها ولا سكنى، في قول عامة أهل العلم

So when she refrains from his bed, or leaves his house without his permission, or refrains from moving with him to a suitable dwelling, or from traveling with him, then she is not entitled to maintenance or accommodation, according to the majority of the scholars.

al-Mughni - Ibn Qudamah

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