Parents apologising to their own children?

Question

What does Islam say about parents apologising to children.

I posted a thread previously about differences in cultures. Again, I am part of 2 cultures, and based on 1 of them, parents apologising to children is a very good thing, it is considered setting a good example and it teaches the child manners and also respecting them at the same time if the parent does something wrong and apologies to the child.

The other culture I am part of considers this to be almost sin like, i.e. a parent never ever apologies to a child, no matter what, even in an accident situation or even if the parent wrongs the child and realises later that s/he wronged the child.

Does Islam have any rules about this? i.e. in Islam, are parents allowed (or encouraged) to apologies to their children if the parent wrongs the child somehow. Or is it considered almost sin like for parents to apologies to children if the parent wrongs the child in some form.

For example, the parent is going from 1 room in the house to another, and accidentally bumps into a child because the parent was not looking where s/he was going. Does Islam say that the parent should apologies, or does Islam that the parent should never apologies to his/her child?

By saying something like "ohhh, sorry, are you OK"? 1 culture I am part of recommends this, the other culture considers this almost sin like. What does islam encourage? That parents are too high in their position as a parent to apologies to children, or parents should teach their children by apologising to them if needed to set an example?

Prefer sunni view with evidence from quran/hadith and/or fatwa.

Answer 1

I am not aware of any evidence for not apologizing to a child. Actually it is the opposite, it is ok to apologize. For instance if you bump into the child and not apologize, what do you think that does to him/her? their psychology? For instance children follow by example, if you have more then one child, and you bump into one of them not caring whether you hurt them or not, what do you think the child whom you bumped into and the one who might have saw will do when they bump into someone in the outside world? are they going to care, and even apologize?

The point is, is the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ لَمْ يَرْحَمْ صَغِيرَنَا، وَيُوَقِّرْ كَبِيرَنَا

He/She is not of us who does not show mercy to the young, and does not respect to the Old

So part of showing mercy in this case is, apologizing asking whether they are hurt or not, and being careful next time. This can also be a part of education, since as I mentioned children follow by example (Actually everyone follows by example, just children reflect the behavior which they were in the most, not that adults don't/cannot reflect the behavior of the environment they are in the most, I am not saying that).

For more information see this (in Arabic).

Answer 2

When we make a mistake we should apologize.. more so if it is your child..

Your children learn from you. when you apologize to them you teach them "not to be proud or haughty" and to own their actions whether they are right or wrong.

Apologizing to young ones are actually encouraged in many books on Islamic parenting.

this might help you

Jabir b. Abdullah said that Rasulullah saw said: "Allah is not merciful to him who is not merciful to people." (Bukhari, Muslim)

From Amr b. Shu'aib, from his father, from his grandfather: Rasulullah saw said: "He is not of us who has no compassion for our little ones and does not honor our old ones." (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)

Your child is your muslim brother, there is no harm in apologizing to him

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?128516-Friendship-in-the-Quran-and-Hadith