I’m a 29 year old male. Have shown interest in marrying a girl also 29 year olds. families involved.we both live and work in England. Recently moved here. My parents are in Pakistan. Her mother is in England along with her eldest sister( married). Her dad passed away when she was in university. Her eldest sister had her mom for a few years in England but now they’re moving to dubai and saying that we should keep my fiancé mother after marriage. I have no problem with her mother. She’s a simple woman. Yet I feel it’s unfair as the mother has 3 elder siblings. All married. One in America ( mum has America visa) , the son ( who should ideally take care of her mum) in Canada. And the eldest sister who is now going to dubai. Is it really fair for them to impose this on us when we are young. Just started working. Trying to settle. obviously would be married soon InshaAllah but we wouldn’t have any privacy whatsoever. We can’t travel abroad every now and then as we have to think about an elderly mother at home. We can’t be intimate. I really think it’s unfair. I do feel bad saying it’s not something I prefer and I’m fine after a few years when we have made our memories. And are more settled to have her stay. And she can always come every now and then for a week or two to stay but for her to stay permanently. It’s bothering me. ( reminding again I adore the mum as well. Nothing personal. Just every decision of our lives later on if this happens would be affected and our privacy gone. Please advice

  • You are seeking personal advice, and this is not the site for. If I get your point, "We can’t be intimate." this disturbs nikah. So your question is, is it allowed to keep your mother in law at a distance? Feb 2 at 23:07

1 Answer 1


If the home is owned or leased by you alone (i.e. your wife does not have a share in it) then you have the right to prevent the relatives of your wife (including her parents) from living in your home and you also have the choice to permit them if you wish. Even though marriage makes it so that your wife must stay in accommodation provided by you, she does not come to own it.

Her parents however do have the right to come to visit to meet their daughter and your wife has the right to go out to visit them. Some madhabs have specified that the right allows meeting once a week for the parents.

Ref: Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah

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