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husband slaps his wife on face in front of his family bcz of a fight between his mother and wife in which his mother was wrong so when wife talked back at him he slapped her in anger so she also slapped him back in front of whole family.is what wife did was a sin?

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Yes, she did wrong. The husband has authority to discipline his wife, not the other way around:

الرجال قوامون على النساء بما فضل الله بعضهم على بعض وبما أنفقوا من أموالهم فالصالحات قانتات حافظات للغيب بما حفظ الله واللاتي تخافون نشوزهن فعظوهن واهجروهن في المضاجع واضربوهن فإن أطعنكم فلا تبغوا عليهن سبيلا إن الله كان عليا كبيرا

Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.

Quran 4:34

ولهن مثل الذي عليهن بالمعروف وللرجال عليهن درجة

And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority].

Quran 2:228

ولا تتمنوا ما فضل الله به بعضكم على بعض للرجال نصيب مما اكتسبوا وللنساء نصيب مما اكتسبن

And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned.

Quran 4:32

لو كنت آمرا أحدا أن يسجد لأحد لأمرت النساء أن يسجدن لأزواجهن لما جعل الله لهم عليهن من الحق

If I were to command anyone to make prostration before another I would command women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the special right over them given to husbands by Allah.

Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah

If the husband was wrong then it is a dispute between the wife and husband, the wife can not unilaterally become a judge and executioner over her own case, rather she must report to the authorities who will investigate the matter - then if the husband deserves punishment they will enforce a suitable ta'zir on him. See What is the punishment for beating up your wife without a valid reason?.


Ref:

فإن قيل أفتثبت ولاية الحسبة للولد على الوالد والعبد على المولى والزوجة على الزوج والتلميذ على الأستاذ والرعية على الوالي مطلقا كما يثبت للوالد على الولد والسيد على العبد والزوج على الزوجة والأستاذ على التلميذ والسلطان على الرعية أو بينهما فرق ... ولنفرض ذلك في الولد مع الوالد فنقول قد رتبنا للحسبة خمس مراتب وللولد الحسبة بالرتبتين الأوليين وهما التعريف ثم الوعظ والنصح باللطفوليس له الحسبة بالسب والتعنيف والتهديد ولا بمباشرة الضرب وهما الرتبتان الأخيرتان ... وهذا الترتيب أيضا ينبغي أن يجري في العبد والزوجة مع السيد والزوج

“Do you absolutely affirm the responsibility of Hisbah (prevention of sin) to the son over his father, the slave over his master, the wife over her husband, the pupil over his teacher, and the ruled people over the guardian with no restrictions in the same way as it is affirmed to the father over his child, the master over his slave, the husband over his wife, the teacher over his pupil, and the guardian over his people who are under his guardianship?” is it so or there is difference between both cases?”

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Let’s explain the matter in regard to the son with his father. We say that the Hisbah is of five levels, and the son has the right to practice the first two, i.e. to show first and then to admonish and give advice with kindness. But he has no right to practice Hisbah through abusing or scolding or threatening or beating, i.e. through the last two levels.

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This should apply also to the slave with his master, the wife with her husband.

Ihya’ ‘Uloom al-Deen

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If you retaliate, then let it be equivalent to what you have suffered. But if you patiently endure, it is certainly best for those who are patient. https://quran.com/16/127

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