A.a I am Going thorough some tough time lately and i seek some clarity. I am 27 yrs old. I had a friend who is a very righteous man. Has good manners. Actually haven't seen anyone like him, also very kind and understanding person. Although i didn't had any feelings or anything for him but i used to get hints about him for eg
1:Dreams about him. Like his mother giving me a ring. Also bunch of other dreams (nothing haram) 2. Our friends who are our mutual friends would also suggest us to get married. 3. One day i showed a cousin of mine his picture to ask her about something totally different and she told me she is getting instincts of us getting married
Now bcz of all these things i developed a hope. I thought he is the one meant for me and Allah is giving me signs through dreams like i used to get signs from dreams before for other stuff too . BUT I never indulged in anything haram and never have. So i stopped talking to him leaving everything in the hands of Allah. He had been looking marriage proposals for almost 2 years. He rejected every girl. I knew he also wanted to get married to me. I knew i'd get his proposal once i will finish my studies and when the time will come for my marriage bcz our families are very similar in casts but theyre slightly liberal than us I felt bad for abandoning him .
He tried so many times to talk to me but i used to respond coldly.He is the only guy who has ever respected me. And i never wanted to treat him like this but i was developing feelings for him so kept my distance and thought i'd marry him soon. Then i got busy with my life. I wasn't mentally well also and hated gatherings and meetings. I even ignored meetings where i had a chance of seeing him for eg friends birthday since we have common friends.
I used to hear from them that he is not doing well and is depressed. I used to.pray for him sometimes. he has gifted me a Quran So i remembered him when i would read it
But now i got a news from my friend that he is getting engaged to someone. My hopes and dreams are shattered. I feel very guilty that I abandoned him.
Am i sinful for this ?is Allah punishing me for not understanding his worth as no one has ever respected me like him? I don't understand why I used to get hints then if he was never meant for me.