Ghusl for women after junub

Question

Is it necessary for a women to wash her hair as part of Ghusl when in state of junub? This seem to be confusion as it does make them lazy not to spend private time with their husband because of Ghusl and excuse could be that if hair are not washed each time the Ghusl is incomplete.

What does hadith narrates when it comes to invitation to wife and she refuses because of having Ghusl or washing hair everyday which makes them week.

Answer 1

Washing hair is necessary in ghusl since ghusl by definition is washing of the whole body, which includes the hair. If washing hair regularly causes it to be weak then you should consult a dermatologist as there might be solutions like using a moisturizer or taking nutritional supplements. You can also consider alternate means of intimacy where she does not need to perform ghusl (intercourse in other than the vagina).

It is obligatory on a wife to obey her husband, especially in matters of intimacy. She can not legally refuse without a valid excuse such as a situation which makes it haram for her to have intimacy. Inconvenience is not a valid excuse.

And this is apparent from the following ahadith:

لو كنت آمرا أحدا أن يسجد لغير الله لأمرت المرأة أن تسجد لزوجها والذي نفس محمد بيده لا تؤدي المرأة حق ربها حتى تؤدي حق زوجها ولو سألها نفسها وهي على قتب لم تمنعه

If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad! No woman can fulfill her duty towards Allah until she fulfills her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.

^{— Ibn Majah , Abu Dawud}

‏ إذا الرجل دعا زوجته لحاجته فلتأته وإن كانت على التنور

When a man calls his wife to fulfill his need, then let her come, even if she is at the oven

^{— Jami at-Tirmidhi}

لا تصوم المرأة وبعلها شاهد إلا بإذنه

A woman should not fast (optional fasts) except with her husband's permission if he is at home

^{— Bukhari - because fasting prevents intimacy}

إذا دعا الرجل امرأته إلى فراشه فأبت أن تجيء لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح

If a man Invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses to come to him, then the angels send their curses on her till morning

^{— Bukhari}

‏ والذي نفسي بيده ما من رجل يدعو امرأته إلى فراشها فتأبى عليه إلا كان الذي في السماء ساخطا عليها حتى يرضى عنها

By Him in Whose Hand is my life, when a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond, the One Who is in the heaven is displeased with her until he (her husband) is pleased with her.

^{— Muslim}

Also see https://islamqa.org/shafii/seekersguidance-shafii/168834/my-husband-wants-marital-relations-every-day-and-washing-my-hair-so-often-makes-it-fall-out-what-do-i-do/ and https://islamqa.info/en/answers/2648/