Can a wife refuses her husband sex because she is the breadwinner of the family,
Is this a real situation? The couple require counselling.
The husband is unable to provide for the family. This is not a good situation. We don't know the reason behind it. Is there some health problem? Is the husband trying but unable to find job? Is the husband just procrastinating and is OK with the situation where wife is earning for family?
The wife reacts by refusing sex. This is not the solution at all. Is she expecting that withholding sex will solve the problem? Such an action will likely lead to worsening of a toxic situation. It can even lead to end of marriage.
This couple needs cool headed discussion between husband and wife. Either husband or wife will have to take initiative. If this does not work they may have to seek counselling from elders in their families.
Asking for Islamic standpoint on the wife's decision does not make sense. She has not taken a decision after careful consideration. The decision appears to be a plea to be taken seriously. Sadly it is unlikely to work in this form.
As far as i know.
Hazrat Khadija(RA) always consulted Prophet Muhammad(SAW) whenever he was in depression or stressed. Take the example of the time when first revelation came to Prophet Muhammad(SAW). He was in shock and could not stop shaking for some time even after he reached home. And Hazrat Khadija(RA) there did not said him to be weak or something like that but she consulted him and gave him the courage that
God won't do anything bad with you because you are so noble
So a wife must always be support for the husband even if he's not earning because that moral support might encourage man to stand up for his family.