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I was wondering if anyone has any advice for me. Out of nowhere, I triggered a shirk type of OCD in my mind. Since then , I keep feeling like I’m committing shirk in my heart and mind. Sometimes it feels intentional like I did it myself and other times I can’t differentiate. I keep doing this and now I just feel absolutely nothing. I feel like there’s no point in returning to Allah and that all my deeds have been rendered vain.

I don’t believe in anything besides Allah and His Messengers but now I’m wondering I’m going to be cast into Hell. Am I doomed? I don’t know why I keep doing this. I feel like Allah won’t forgive me because of how many times i’m doing this. I don’t feel anything anymore. I feel empty.

There’s a part of me telling myself “ don’t worry, you don’t believe in any of it “ and the other half of me is saying “ I’ve committed shirk in my heart and mind, you need to repent “ I don’t know which side to lean towards. I still make Dua and everything but I feel like I’m not even a Muslim anymore because of this. It all started with shirk thoughts but now I feel like I’m committing it in my heart and mind when I know it’s false and not true and I don’t accept it.

Each time I close my eyes, I feel like I’m intentionally committing shirk. My heart feels weird. Sometimes when I’m saying “Asatgfirallah” I forget what I’m saying “Asatgfirallah” for. Like, I can’t remember what I did. It’s like my mind goes blank.

I’m now wondering if Allah hates me or something. I am constantly renewing my Shahada and I can’t seem to find any peace. When I repent, I feel like my repentance isn’t sincere or valid. Sometimes, I don’t even have the strength to say Shahada, it seems like a major sport. I don’t have strength to seek forgiveness, it feels so overwhelming and I say to Allah “I don’t know anymore” It feels like saying shahada and saying astagfirallah is so hard and requires so much effort, that I don’t have anymore.

Does anyone have any advice please?

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I see that the doubts have been invading you lately. Let me clear something up.

  1. Stop fearing. Just stop. Calm down, calm down, calm down. What comes to your mind is a bunch of nothing mixed up with fear. Really. It is so stupid but you don’t realize it.

You don’t realize this is all fear. Stop fearing. Life your life, brother or sister.

Nothing will ever get you out of this, except stopping fear and knowing it’s wrong..

Just calm down, relax, live your life, feel the sun and wind. Forget about that stupid stuff.

I have already experienced exactly what you feel. And I didn’t realize it was just fear. I started believing in it because I feared believing in it so much, because I feared Allah.

So stop fear. Then know it’s wrong. Then stop fear. Then know it’s wrong. Then stop the fear. Then know it’s wrong. Bam. It disappears magically..

Just don’t panic. I feel you. Shaytan scares you.

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