I am a bit embarrassed to talk about this but I need to ask: I read websites saying that ghusl is only necessary if the discharge that comes out is accompanied by pleasure and not just desire. However I have a problem: I don’t know the difference between these feelings. I read that for women the discharge also needs to be yellow and mine doesn’t seem to be yellow when aroused but I’m still unsure. I want to ask, if i feel my private parts clench/contract at a sexual thought, does that require ghusl? I feel weird asking this but I get clenches/contractions down there quite often when aroused and I’m aroused everyday so I don’t know if I actually have to do ghusl. It’s really stressing me out. It would be quite difficult to actually have to renew my ghusl for each prayer so that’s why I’m asking.
Bismillah Hir Rahmaan Nir Raheem
As Salaamu 3laykum,
I hope you are doing well. I would first like to say that you never have to feel ashamed in asking question. We are all here to keep learning and keep spiritually growing. However, having modesty is a good sign but let it not stop you from learning and growing.
When it comes to your issue lets clear out what pleasure and desire actually mean.
- DESIRE, INCLINATION
- a state of gratification
- somewhat formal : to want or wish for (something) : to feel desire for (something)
Looking at the two definitions above desire (in the form of a thought) is the first thing that occurs and the action that gives happiness / gratification from that desire is called pleasure. Now taking these in account we can find that when you do have a contraction of the private parts its due to a sexual thought. This thought which then triggers the release of the liquid is no different then if one were to engage in an sexual activity. Below are the Quranic and ahadith evidences to show the proof of that.
Surah #5 Verse 6: ".....And if you are in a state of janabah, then purify yourselves..."
"The Messenger of Allah was asked about prostatic fluid and he said: 'For that ablution (is necessary), and for semen, bath is necessary.'" (Ibn Majah)
Umm Sulaim, the wife Abu Talha said, “O Allah’s Messenger! Allah is not ashamed of the truth. Is a Ghusl (bath) compulsory for a woman when she has a sexual dream?” He (ﷺ) replied, “Yes! When she sees signs of liquid” [Agreed upon]. (Bulugh al-Maram)
"Umm Habibah bint Jahsh consulted the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and said: 'O Messenger of Allah, I suffer from Istihadah (non-menstrual vaginal bleeding).' He said: 'That is a vein, so perform Ghusl and pray.' And she used to perform Ghusl for every prayer." (An Nasai)
Conclusion We find from the above definitions that whenever there is a sexual thought that causes one to release liquid then ghusl (bath) becomes obligatory to do. Because there is no difference of desire and pleasure they are on the same spectrum but one occurs first (i.e. desire) before pleasure.
What Can Be Done to Lessen It?
In my opinion it would be good to get away from the causes that are creating the sexual arousal in the first place. If it is your thought that is the problem then to start engaging in positive clean thoughts. If a negative thought does arise then to start doing dhikr, removing yourself from that environment (moving away for a couple of minutes,etc.) , think of that same guy/boy as someone who only has bones and is diseased (mental imagery to cool your passion down).
Afterwards it would be good to engage in more dhikr and start fasting more frequently.
If you cannot fast then to take cold showers or supplement that can reduce your sexual desire to level that will not cause harm to the body.
Have a Nice Day!
Note #1: If you downvote my answer, please be courteous and say why you downvoted in a comment below.
Note #2: This is my own personal answer that I have derived from what I have researched.