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My father was sexually abusive for 7 years and I didn’t even understand as he started when I was ten. I cut him off two years ago and my life has gone really horrible.

These tests are not bringing me closer to Allah they are making me loose faith and think about suicide a lot.

After brainstorming it’s the only wrong thing I think I could have done to make this test drive me away from Allah.

I don’t smoke or drink, I avoid lieing as much as I can and try to be a good person but everything just keeps getting worse. Every thing I beg Allah for hardly ever materialize yet everyone around me seems to be getting those things with ease too.

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Allah puts people through tests to whom he loves the most. The prophets were always faced with hardship but they still manage to carry out the spreading of Islam and has helped shaped it into what it is today. You mentioned how these tests are drawing you away from Allah, you should be aiming to draw yourself closer. Allah can see your struggles and there’s going to be a day when all your struggles will go but for the sake of Allah persevere and Insha’allah your struggles will go. I pray Allah makes life easy for you :)

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