My father was sexually abusive for 7 years and I didn’t even understand as he started when I was ten. I cut him off two years ago and my life has gone really horrible.
These tests are not bringing me closer to Allah they are making me loose faith and think about suicide a lot.
After brainstorming it’s the only wrong thing I think I could have done to make this test drive me away from Allah.
I don’t smoke or drink, I avoid lieing as much as I can and try to be a good person but everything just keeps getting worse. Every thing I beg Allah for hardly ever materialize yet everyone around me seems to be getting those things with ease too.