In advance, I'm new to this and I'm coming here out of desperation so sorry if I break any rules or whatever.

I'm sitting here crying because my heart just doesn't feel full anymore. I committed some sins a while ago and even after repenting my heart just feels dead. I listen to the Qur'an and I don't shiver anymore. I can't focus in prayer and I don't cry anymore and end up having to make Sujood of forgetfulness almost every time. I feel awful and I just don't know anymore. I'm scared because I don't want my heart to be hard. I want it to be soft like it was before but I just don't feel the same.

I know Allah has not abandoned me but I'm asking if this is a test or if this is a punishment for the sins which I have committed. I just feel like my heart has just started to drift from the light. I feel nothing in prayer and that makes me feel awful.

so, is this a test? or is this a punishment?

edit: Thanks to the people who responded! today I noticed that I started to feel a bit better and had more concentration in my prayer. I was just in fear because I knew I was the only one to blame for my hearts state and was afraid that it was a punishment. Will be sure to stay steadfast and do my best

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    I’m voting to close this question because it can not be answered as the users of the site are not clairvoyant.
    – UmH
    Aug 3 at 10:42
  • You are under the influnce of Shaitan.
    – Muslim
    Aug 3 at 16:07
  • I'll try to give a short comment but the fact that you feel remorse and guilt indicates that you still have a good level of imaan. Alhamdullilah ... What is needed now from your end is baby steps.. try to visit the Masjid and pray the Fard prayers in congregation, sit with the scholars and seek clarifications from them on your doubts on our deen, involve yourself in social service by helping the old, needy and poor or if you don't have the time, try to give charity. Slowly but surely your imaan will grow stronger and inshallah you will disregard the current waswasa you feel from your Qareen.
    – Ahmed
    Aug 4 at 6:56
  • @Ahmed I would go to the Masjid and I really do want to because I miss it but my parents are old and the Delta variant of covid is doing its rounds here. 3 people have died in my area from the previous wave. my father is 70 and I'm 15 so I'm not at risk but he definitely is. I will do what I can however to increase my Imaan like listen to recitations more, do sunnah prayers and do more dhikr.
    – David Mcn
    Aug 4 at 15:34
  • @UmH apologies this is my first time posting I just was desperate.
    – David Mcn
    Aug 4 at 15:34

one important thing to know is that Allah will always forgive you, and you are forgiven now so do not worry about that.

and this is not a punishment from Allah. although it could be a test (only allah knows that) but i want you to remember that Allah does not put a burden on someone that which they cannot bear, you are going to be tested many times in this world, and the best thing that you can do is to pray for Allah's help to get you out of your difficult situation and be patient.

  • Hi, I just would like to say thank you. I've already started to notice a change and that it is getting better. I will keep continuing to pray and remember that Allah is all merciful. I was just saddened because I know this and I knew that I had no one else to blame for the state of my heart other than myself. It will get better Alhamdulilah and it will get better soon Inshallah
    – David Mcn
    Aug 4 at 15:17
  • that is so good to hear, I hope it gets even better soon
    – muslim1738
    Aug 13 at 13:53

If you commit a sin then do this and know this concerning your state:

Ahmad (26998) narrated that Abu’l-Darda’ (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “The one who does wudoo’ and does it well, then stands and prays two rak’ahs or four (one of the narrators was uncertain), in which he remembers Allaah and focuses well, then asks Allaah for forgiveness, He will forgive him.” The editor of al-Musnad said: its isnaad is hasan. It was also quoted by al-Albaani in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Saheehah (3398).

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allah will accept the repentance of His slave so long as the death rattle has not yet begun.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi (3537)

Sahih Muslim (2999) narrated that Suhayb (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it.

Sahih Muslim (2664): "A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer, and there is good in everyone, (but) cherish that which gives you benefit (in the Hereafter) and seek help from Allah and do not lose heart, and if anything (in the form of trouble) comes to you, don't say: "If I had not done that, it would not have happened so and so", but say: "Allah did that what He had ordained to do" (قَدَرُ اللَّهِ وَمَا شَاءَ فَعَلَ - Qadarul-lah wa ma sha'a fa'al) and your "if" opens the (gate) for the Satan."

Allah says in Surah al-Baqarah [155-157]:

"And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,

Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return."

Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided."

Sahih Muslim (918): "If any Muslim who suffers some calamity says, what Allah has commanded him, "We belong to Allah and to Him shall we return; O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it," (Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un - Allahum-majurni fi musibati wa achlif-li khayran minha) Allah will give him something better than it in exchange."

Regarding the feeling that you assume you have a void heart, Allah says:

“Those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest”

[ar-Ra‘d 13:28]

“Is he whose heart Allah has opened to Islam, so that he is in light from His Lord (as he who is non-Muslim)? So, woe to those whose hearts are hardened against remembrance of Allah! They are in plain error!”

[az-Zumar 39:22]

Therefore, your current state may indicate that you may have been neglectful with your life in terms of not praying, not doing your Dhikr (which you conduct after every obligatory prayer, at the specific time in the morning and evening, etc. - get the book Hisnul Muslim, which is a book that provides many Adhkar and Du'a for most circumstances), not abstaining from haram.

If you feel sorry for what you have done, then repent and seek forgiveness from Allah and intend that you will never go back to that kind of action. Make sure to pray 5 times a day and be focused in it and steadfast (get the book "The Prophet's Prayer Described" by Sheikh Albani), and to recite the Dhikr, and to not overexeggerate with worship, but to do as much as you can and live a halal life. Then, you will inshallah be successful and you will have a vital, fortunate, virtues and satisfying life.

Nearly every book in English in PDF form is for free available on the internet, just search

  • Again use the layout tools to mark your quotation as such and make them clearly distinguishable from your own word.
    – Medi1Saif
    Aug 3 at 13:45
  • Is it better now?
    – harmer
    Aug 3 at 14:14
  • Just to clarify, I have not neglected my prayers and I make sure to at least recite some dhikr afterwards. I was concerned and didn't feel good because despite doing more prayers and adding more to my prayers and slowing them down etc I didn't feel anything inside and I just felt like I had left the light. I already made tawbah for the sin earlier but I noticed that afterwards it felt like my heart was void of any light. I'll be sure to try nd get the book if I can, I'm only 15 at the moment so it may be a bit difficult especially seeing as I live in Indonesia. Jazakallah khairan for answering
    – David Mcn
    Aug 4 at 15:21
  • The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "There is (at times) some sort of shade upon my heart, and I seek forgiveness from Allah a hundred times a day." Sahih Muslim 2702a | Ibn al-Jawzi said: "If you, after a sin, feel darkness in your heart then know that there is (also) light in your heart. Otherwise, you would not even notice the darkness" :)
    – harmer
    Aug 4 at 15:27
  • I was not prepared for that. really all I can say is Jazakallah khairan and may Allah swt. reward you with Jannatul Firdaus. I didn't know about that hadith and reading that kinda made me cry a little knowing that even he s.a.w felt some shade upon his heart and that there was a solution. Thank you so much brother.
    – David Mcn
    Aug 4 at 15:38

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