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Can someone please find the authenticity of this reference or contextualize it:

Once there was an altercation between the Prophet and Ayesha when they found Abu Bakr as judge. Ayesha said to the Prophet: ‘You speak but don’t speak except truth’. At once Abu Bakr gave her such a slap that blood began to ooze out from her mouth. Then he said: ‘O enemy, will he speak the truth?’”.

Ihya Ulum-id-din by Imam Ghazzali, Volume 2 page 36, Chapter “The secrets of marriage” – English translation by Maulana Fazlul Karim.

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This incident is reported in Volume 2 of Ihya, under chapter "Etiquettes of Marriage", under the heading "Husband duties towards his wife".

Here are 2 Paragraphs (abriged) before the incident:

And know that to have patience at the time when the wife gets angry and when she gives trouble is actually following the Prophet() in good treatment with her. It is not merely to restrain oneself from inflicting troubles on the wife...

And

The wives of Prophet argued before him sometimes. Once a wife of Prophet() did something wrong and her mother got angry but the Prophet() said "leave her for she does more than this"!

And than:

وجرى بينه وبين عائشة كلام حتى أدخلا بينهما أبا بكر رضي الله عنه حكما واستشهده فقال لها رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم تكلمين أو أتكلم فقالت بل تكلم أنت ولا تقل إلا حقا فلطمها أبو بكر حتى دمى فوها وقال يا عدية نفسها أو يقول غير الحق فاستجارت برسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم وقعدت خلف ظهره فقال له النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم لم ندعك لهذا ولا أردنا منك ...هذا

Basically: Prophet and Aisha had a dispute (maybe this) & Abu Bakr was brought in as a Judge! When Abu Bakr came, Prophet said to Aisha "will you speak or I should speak" and she said "you speak but tell clearly/truth" upon which Abu Bakr got angry & hit her. And then Prophet said to Abu Bakr "we didn't call you for this".

Al-Hafidh al-Iraqi (and later it was finished by al-Iraqi's student Ibj Hajar Asqalani) was one of many, who wrote monumental commentaries on Ihya. According to him, the hadith with the exact wording, is not Saheeh (either Hassan or Daeef), and it is found in:

  • Imam Tabarani's Al-Mu'jam Al-Awsat
  • Khatib Baghdadi's Tareekh

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