I feel like everyone hates me including Allah. I don’t know why I was born but I feel useless. Every time I try to be more religious I feel worse than I already usually do and bad things happen to me, and everyone around me doesn’t like when I try to be. When I do bad things I feel better. Am I just destined to be this way and go to Hell?
Allah loves all his creations! Have you ever thought that this may be the act of shaytaan trying to lure you away from Allah? Persevere and increase your imaan. Do more dhikr and read more Quran. Visits the mosque more than you normally would to attend Salah and insha’allah everything you are feeling will be gone! I pray Allah helps you with your daily struggles.
Predestination may be correct both physically ( in that the state of the world fully defines the future) and from revelation. As this state of the world is comprising all minds and so much more, and it is impossible only to have the state of only two minds in one, this idea is not helpful to us at all. to think that destiny even exists because all we do contributes to it.
On your problem
You say: When I do bad things I feel better.
You may feel like this is the result of your problem. But isn't it rather the source of it?
Pray to Allah to give you joy in doing good.
Be aware of the world around you and look out for situations where you can change something to better.
Care for your soul and stay to the path Allah has recommended us to follow.
Don't think that. Allah loves you and has made you. You are Allah's creation. Allah has made you especially on His Earth. When you do bad things you may feel good - this might be because you think that Allah hates you. Shaiton keeps on whispering for you to do bad things. Don't let Shaiton get between you and Allah. For your faith to get stronger, read Quran and make dua'a to Allah to make your life full of eases. Keep on remembering that Allah will be happy with you if you try your best to remain a good muslim, and don't let shaiton whisper bad things to you. shaiton's goal is to make you do bad deeds.
Allah knows best. We are his servants, so as long as you are on His Earth, remain a good muslim. You might feel good when you do bad deeds because you might have lost faith in yourself to be a good muslim. You might think that you don't have any control over yourself to be a good muslim. For this, read Quran, and stay connected to Allah. I also suggest doing dhikr and understanding Allah (Swt) 99 names.
InshAllah, everything will get better hopefully! I hope this helps!
To achieve for Love of Allah we should obey to sunnah as much as we can. All Awliyas in the past were became close to Allah by performing sunnah a'mal. Another sign is, if you perform mustahab deed and every time you make zikr, Allah loves you. There are a lot of signs to know the love of Allah in Quran.
- And do good; indeed, Allah loves the doers of good. Al-Baqarah(195)
- Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves. Al-Barakah(222)
- Then indeed, Allah loves the God-fearing. Ali 'Imran(76)
- And Allah loves those who are good in their deeds. Ali 'Imran(134)
- And Allah loves the steadfast. Ali 'Imran(146)
- And Allah loves the doers of good. Ali 'Imran(148)
- Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].(Who makes tawakkal to Allah) Ali 'Imran(159)
- Indeed, Allah loves the good-doers. Al-Ma'idah(13)
- Indeed, Allah loves those who act justly. Al-Ma'idah(42)
- Allah loves those who are good in their deeds. Al-Ma'idah(93)
- Surely, Allah loves the God-fearing. At-Tawbah(4)
- Surely, Allah loves the God-fearing. At-Tawbah(7)
- and Allah loves those observing purity. At-Tawhab(108)
- Surely Allah loves those who maintain justice. Al-Hujurat(9)
- Surely Allah loves those who maintain justice. Al-Mumtahanah(8)
- Surely Allah loves those who fight in His way in firm rows, as if they were solid edifice. As-Saf(4)