Salam everyone, This is a question that has been on my mind for quite a long time. I will present an example so that it makes more logical sense. I know that it is not permissible to disobey my parents unless they command me to do something that's against Islamic teachings. But what about teachings that don't affect Islam, but they do affect me. Like let's say I want to choose an IT field as my profession but my father, due to lack of knowledge, can't accept the fact that IT fields have a scope and orders me to go for medicine. Now I try to explain this, but he won't accept and is stubborn without any logic. This is something that I will have to go through all my life, I'll have to study a field that wasn't my choice, work in it even though I never wanted to. While I will be going through all of this, my father will not be affected in any way. Since this is a case that doesn't affect religion or causes me to go through something haram it is still something that causes me distress and on the other hand the one who had the right to chose this path for me now, plays no part in it. Does Islam really want me to obey my father in this case? Doesn't it give him authority over a thing he doesn't have enough information to make a sane and logical decision?
To what extent is obedience to one's parents very limited for a boy or a girl? It seems that we have to act indefinitely in order to satisfy the parents; But this is to the extent that obedience to parents does not conflict with obedience to God. If the obedience and command of the parents is contrary to the command of God and His Messenger, then obedience to them is not necessary.)1( Quranic verses are also used that obedience to parents is only within the limits of obedience to God, and if they are commanded to commit polytheism and sin, obedience to them is not permissible. Of course, experience has shown that with a little patience and perseverance on the part of the child, the parents are satisfied with their work, and appealing to the Imams (as) is also very instructive (2).
It is obligatory on a person to associate with his parents in a worldly manner, not in accordance with the Shari'a rules, in a pleasant and conventional manner, not improperly; And to observe the condition of the two and to behave in a harmonious and gentle manner, and persecution and violence are not permissible for them, and to endure the hardships that they see from them. ) 3 (
)1Ref: https://hawzah.net/fa/Book/View/45322/34271/%D8%AD%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%B9%D8%AA-%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AF%DB%8C%D9%86 2(Ref: https://www.porseman.com/article/%D8%A7%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%B9%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%BE%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D9%88-%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%B1--%D8%AD%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%B9%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AF%D9%8A%D9%86/13605 3)http://wikiporsesh.ir/%D8%A7%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%B9%D8%AA_%D8%A7%D8%B2_%D9%BE%D8%AF%D8%B1_%D9%88_%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%B1
Unless your parents order you to do anything against shariah, you should obey their order. If your parents force you to do something against shariah, don't do it by saying to them politely, "I won't do that as that is against shariah."
And if you don't want to do something good, they said, you can politely tell them you don't want to do it, so they will permit you to not do it. If they don't permit you to not do it, then you should do it.