I have really bad anxiety and I think I have intrusive thoughts/OCD. I have these awful thoughts that disrespects Allah(SWT) and I am scared. I keep doing my shahada because these thoughts sometimes commit blasphemy! I hate my self for them. I am also in constant fear that I hurt people because sometimes my thoughts say awful things about people. I say I don’t mean it but at this point I am not sure because I can’t stop thinking these awful thoughts. I am so scared of giving people evil eye because of these thoughts. So every time I have these thoughts I always ask Allah for forgiveness and I pray that it doesn’t effect people. I am also in constant fear that I am committing shirk because of these thoughts. These thoughts get extra loud especially when I pray. My heart hurts because of these thoughts. I don’t know what to do. So my question is. Can you commit shirk in the mind? And can you give evil eye from the mind?
Before answering the actual question, I would like to inform you about some facts. I can smell something terrible in the situation you mentioned as an example. Because I'm familiar with this kind of thing myself.The awful thing is that most of the time you will be unhappy for small things where others will be quite good mentally. And that is-- to complain too much about anything. It will be tragic for you for a while. You have said so in the example. Someone else has eaten a (let say) dessert of your choice and so you are mentally upset and angry at that person too! I can't even imagine listening to it and living with such behavior(please don’t get me wrong,I'm explaining it to you this way for better understanding,not for humiliating) Think for it yourself if you feel a little open. You see it is so ridiculous and at the same time horrible that you're in trouble for your own thoughts?! Finding a solution to this problem is much more important to you than finding answers to other questions! Now you know that complaining about everything will bring a big disaster in your life. Lets find out the answer now! Always keep in mind that Islam is the solution to all problems because it is the path directed by the Lord of the Universe. I myself have learned its lessons from the life of Prophet Muhammad (saw). Now I will try to summarize it below. You will find absolute peace only when you look at everyone with love. Do not judge them by your negative thoughts. let me give you a example, Suppose you are waiting for someone on the street and he arrives a little late, you can get angry with him and say something annoying and on the other hand- you can calmly think differently and this different thinking lead you to think that maybe he has a problem on the road so he is late. Which type of you is better? Definitely the second (obvious) one.
Now let me sum up the whole thing
Strategy No. First & Last :- (The way you find yourself in a better position of thinking and treating this Worldly affairs)
a)Go let them say whatever they want. Allah the Almighty is elevating your level. This is all expiation to your sins.So whatever they say, you should grateful to them. Just don’t let it under your skin. Don't settled it in your heart.
b)Don't complicate things. Stay focused in your efforts. Let them not distract you from your main goal. Focus on doing good always to secure a better life. Don't stress too much about your worldly affairs. Keep it mind that everything you say or do is a reflection of how you feel. Always ask the Almighty to help you focus on things that are good,pure,honorable and worthy of praise. Abandon thoughts that cloud your judgment cause It'll make you think ill of others. Just because some people treat you badly it doesn’t give you the right to do the same to others. You can break the cycle of negativity and abuse. Instead of feeling angry and hateful, learn positive behaviour.Focus on your reaction rather than the behaviour of others. GOOD THOUGHTS MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE!
Now lets go to the actual question - FIRST of all, you've to have the necessary knowledge to differentiate between two different things. Here you're mixing the concept of cursing someone and putting the evil eye on another! Evil eye can't be come from hatefulness, its need to come from burning jealousy. The evil eye (al-ayn in Arabic) is a term used to describe misfortune that is transmitted from one person to another out of jealousy or envy.
Evil eye is something that a person whether good or bad may inflicted upon you, upon seeing something he/she likes whether intentionally and usually it is unintended. For example I see someone driving a fancy car and I say 'Oh! That's a shockingly beautiful car!' or I see someone working out in the gym and I say 'Look at the weight he's bench pressing!'. Now this is Evil eye. Look i've no intention of him having an accident or of him being sick or of him losing his powers but the evil spirit in me came out unintentionally. So this is Evil eye.
The bad thought that comes to your mind out of Annoyance or hatefulness is not a evil eye, being angry with someone you may utter offensive words that's not actually an evil eye. Now you know what type of thoughts have come to your mind.
Conclusion & Solution:- The Prophet Muhammad (saw) spoke about the reality of the evil eye, and rebuked his(saw) companion who admired someone or something without praising Allah.
“Why would one of you kill his brother? If you see something that you 'like'(point to be noted,evil eye can't be come from Hatefulness), then pray for blessing for him.”
Pray for blessings on another: Muslims do often say “masha’Allah” when praising or admiring someone or something, as a reminder to themselves and others that all good things come from Allah. Jealousy and envy should not enter the heart of a person who believes that Allah has bestowed blessings on people according to His will.
And lastly, The best protection against the evil eye is those that bring one closer to Allah through remembrance, prayer, and reading of the Quran.
The Hadith regarding evil eye is mentioned below --
Imam Ahmad, Malik, al-Nasai and Ibn Hibban narrated from Sahl ibn Haneef that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came out and traveled with him towards Makkah, until they were in the mountain pass of al-Kharar in al-Jahfah. There Sahl ibn Haneef did ghusl (bathed), and he was a handsome white-skinned man with beautiful skin. ‘Amir ibn Rabee’ah, one of Banu ‘Adiyy ibn K’ab looked at him whilst he was doing ghusl and said: “I have never seen such beautiful skin as this, not even the skin of a virgin,” and Sahl fell to the ground. They went to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, can you do anything for Sahl, because by Allah he cannot raise his head.” He said, “Do you accuse anyone with regard to him?” They said, “‘Amir ibn Rabee’ah looked at him.” So the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) called ‘Amir and rebuked him strongly. He said, “Why would one of you kill his brother? If you see something that you like, then pray for blessing for him.” Then he said to him, “Wash yourself for him.” So he washed his face, hands, forearms, knees and the sides of his feet, and inside his izaar (lower garment) in the vessel. Then that water was poured over him, and a man poured it over his head and back from behind. He did that to him, then Sahl got up and joined the people and there was nothing wrong with him. Classed as saheeh (authentic) by al-Albani in al-Mishkat.
Do not worry sister, RasulAllah (ﷺ) gave us beautiful solutions for every problem. Here are 2 hadiths that helped me with this.
It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) observed: Verily Allah forgave my people the evil promptings which arise within their hearts as long as they did not speak about them or did not act upon them. https://sunnah.com/muslim:127a
It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that some people from amongst the Companions of the Apostle (ﷺ) came to him and said: Verily we perceive in our minds that which every one of us considers it too grave to express. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Do you really perceive it? They said: Yes. Upon this he remarked: That is the faith manifest. https://sunnah.com/muslim:132a
its easy hahaha.. dont worry , be relax a）its not a sins or shirk b）its not exceed a high of limit
so.. dont fear and dont anxiety.. anybody have intrusive thought like ohh im god... ohh god is ugly , etc etc.. its just intrusive thought only or was was.. actually this thought can gone far away if u dont have fear or anxiety about it and relax with this nothing thought.. u are fear because u think u are do big sins/shirk and u think u do are exceed a high of limit.. haha.. dont wory and relax.. do your hobby regularly and activity like hang out with friend constantly.. then this thought will gone away.. 100% its will gone away but maybe take a time depends on person.. but must constantly do some activity and dont isolated yourself from others people ..