I was a born a muslim and turned agnostic for a few years and went back to Islam a few months ago. I told my mom and sister about it and they were really happy for me. I started praying again and fasting too. But i don’t know i’m really struggling now. I keep having constant bad thoughts about Islam this past month and just feeling disconnected from it. I don’t feel as happy praying now as I did when i would silently “pray” in my head back when I was agnostic. I felt more connected and at peace to whoever I was praying to at that time. I don’t think this is waswas either I’m pretty sure its my own self. I also have a lot of doubts now. But i’m scared to leave Islam again something tells me I shouldn’t. And i’m scared to hurt my family, what should I do? Am i already no longer a muslim? Please help, I feel like I’m slowly leaving again and it scares me. I can’t talk about this with anyone i know
The Quran mentions apostasy in many of its verses, expressing God's anger, impending punishment, and refusal to accept repentance towards those who have left the faith. Here are a couple...
Verse 3:90--- إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا۟ بَعْدَ إِيمَـٰنِهِمْ ثُمَّ ٱزْدَادُوا۟ كُفْرًا لَّن تُقْبَلَ تَوْبَتُهُمْ وَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلضَّآلُّونَ Translation: "Indeed, those who disbelieve after having believed then increase in disbelief, their repentance will never be accepted. It is they who are astray."
Verse 16:106--- مَن كَفَرَ بِٱللَّهِ مِنۢ بَعْدِ إِيمَـٰنِهِۦٓ إِلَّا مَنْ أُكْرِهَ وَقَلْبُهُۥ مُطْمَئِنٌّۢ بِٱلْإِيمَـٰنِ وَلَـٰكِن مَّن شَرَحَ بِٱلْكُفْرِ صَدْرًا فَعَلَيْهِمْ غَضَبٌ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَلَهُمْ عَذَابٌ عَظِيمٌ Translation: Whoever disbelieves in [i.e., denies] Allah after his belief...except for one who is forced [to renounce his religion] while his heart is secure in faith. But those who [willingly] open their breasts to disbelief, upon them is wrath from Allah, and for them is a great punishment.
Islam is the only true religion, the only one that is 100% logical and makes a lot of sense. Practicing Islam properly, and being close to Allah and pleasing Him, He will InshaAllah grant you Jennah. Remember, this life is not a true life, the hereafter is where you live forever. Repent to Allah SWT for having these thoughts, make your duas, there are duas you can say to have protection from Shaytaan's whispers. Here is a link to these Dua's---https://www.islamicfinder.org/duas/masnoon/for-protection-from-satan-shaytan/
Allah is watching you, watching every step you take. But He will get angry if you leave Islam willingly. You should talk to a Sheikh about this, he can help you. I pray that these thoughts leave you, and you die as a great muslim InshaAllah, Ameeen.
(Please if I said something wrong someone correct me, I don't usually answer serious questions like these but I really hope I said the right things)