So I have a question that’s been really worrying me. I am friends with a boy who is gay (and non-muslim since I live in a non-muslim country) and I feel really bad about this sometimes. I also feel like I am committing a major sin or even kufr whenever I like his posts since he posts with his boyfriend and I don’t wanna promote homosexuality but I’m just liking his posts because we’re friends. Can anybody give me advice? Am I a disbeliever for doing this?
Salam! I'm also friends with a gay person as well and would love to help.
Number 1: Knowledge.
Before addressing the following, you must gather knowledge on the LGBT, homosexuality, and Islamic knowledge. There most likely will be misunderstandings between you two, but the important thing is to not lose your temper. That will only cause your friend to get upset more and possibly even unfriend you and form a negative connotation towards Islam.
You must find answers to common claims to break down arguments he might throw at you over why he believes "God hates gays" or "Islam hates the LGBT".
RED FLAG: If you believe homosexuality is a choice, things will go downhill from there. As a bisexual Muslim, I'm certain it's not a choice. It's a test from Allah. If it was a choice, wouldn't that make heterosexuality a choice? That's why it's imperative you gather knowledge on the topics of LGBT, LGBT & religion. Show him that you're not ignorant on this topic and you're not diving into this blindly.
My gay friend and I talked about LGBT topics and religion for over a year and we're still going. Alhamdulilah we understand each other, he understands my perspective of the LGBT and religion and respects it.
Number 2: Communication.
Communication is important. When I first became friends with someone who's gay there were a lot of misunderstandings between him and me over our beliefs towards the LGBT community.
As friends, communication is a very important thing to discuss. It shows trust and open-mindedness towards topics like this because it'll show your friend you're open to discussing these controversial topics with them because you feel comfortable with them.
-> Have you guys discussed LGBT topics before?
-> Have you talked about Islam before?
-> Does he know you're Muslim?
If not, I suggest you start now. This is a great opportunity to give him da'wah on what Islam is rather than him picking up on all the anti-Islam and Islamophobic rhetoric thrown out in the world nowadays.
If he gets offended that you don't like (as in the social media concept) his posts showing LGBT pride or with him and his boyfriend, tell him why you stopped.
Explain how, in Islam, we believe homosexuality is a sin and a test. We're not anti-LGBT or anything, we just can't accept the sin. God tests everyone in different ways, whether that's through poverty, famine, disease, sexuality, etc. Scholars also agreed it's not haram to be gay (as in have same-sex desires) but it's haram to act upon your desires.
To answer your question, no you are not a disbeliever for liking his posts. But the important thing you need to address is, "I can't like your posts because while I am friends with you, there's some things I need to talk to you about. [Begin talking about Islam's view on homosexuality and the LGBT]. While I do not hate people who are apart of the LGBT, I can't like your posts because by doing so, I'm accepting the sin.
Remember, if you fail to communicate with him about this and continue to like his posts while it's making you uncomfortable, you're sinning in a way because you know it's wrong.
If he doesn't accept your point of view/continues to argue with you/forces you or guilt trips you about how you're a homophobe, leave him.
Speaking of homophobia, you are not homophobic for being anti-LGBT.
Homophobia is defined as:
Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT).
The Qur'an talks about kindness as:
"Be tolerant of man's nature and command the doing of what is right and leave alone all those who choose to remain ignorant."
The Heights 7:199
The Hadiths talks about kindness as:
"Kindness is a mark of faith, and whoever has no kindness has no faith."
Examples of being homophobic would include:
- Insulting LGBT people
- Discriminating LGBT people
- Abusing LGBT people
- Cursing/slandering LGBT people
- Ridiculing LGBT people
Please also see this question