assalaam alykum...i am currently 13 but since i was about 4 years old i had an illness called maladaptive daydreaming it continued till i started to pray my 5 prayers about 2 months ago.. i got evil thought since i started praying till now so i turned back to allah..but the problem was that i imagine allah and i read on an article that im worshipping the image not allah swt (astaghfiruallah) i read that yesterday my heart is beating so fast i dont know what to do..i want to repent but i keep imagining allah swt.. even though i used to imagine allah..when i make dua my dua gets answered.. i am so terrified that allah is mad at me.. im terrified of allah punishment..please help..
Wsalam. If something is beyond your control, you are not accountable for it. What you need to do is, learn more and follow a path with an aalim. Acquiring knowledge would enlighten you mind and heart and these fears will be clarified as well as go away.
Allah cannot be imagined; you can only be imagine if something is explained, or touched or a similar thing is shown. In case of Allah, there is no such thing. Read 35th verse from the Surah Al Nur.
اَللّٰهُ ورسوله أَعْلَم
Our reception of Allah is always bound to a kind of imagination. If we speak to Him in dua, we have the imagination of a human to whom we speak and who is listening. We know that He is not a human - but we are.
We imagine how He created the world and how he He acted on the prophets and how He acts in our lives and how it may be to stand before Him on the last day and how life in His full presence in Jannah may be.
We cannot think of Him other than what is accessible to our own imagination.
We must be aware that none of those images is the full truth because Allah is greater than whatever our imagination may capture.