I have been suffering from waswas. I feel like it’s a jinn and shaytaan whispering it . I always seek refuge in them and praise Allah . And Allah always guides me and helps me . Today I woke up and was very tired and I was meant to insult myself due to a stupid mistake I did earlier today and the insult turned into an insult to Allah ??? Abs I felt like I controlled it . Like I’m the one that changed it to insult Allah ! I know I did it surely they can’t control my mind ??? I get bad thoughts sometimes which I don’t understand how I think but this was worse ..And I hated it. I feel like crying. I already know I’m nothing . But I feel even more worse . How could I do that ? I actually hate it. Allah is so merciful and pure and the greatest . And I had a bad thought which I feel I controlled ! Astaghfirullah. I also find around music I get worse thoughts today at work I was told to disbelieve in my mind. But I didn’t mean that but this thought was different I feel like I insulted ! Also when I listen to ruqya I kept getting bad bad bad thoughts. Please ask Allah to help me .
First of all, allah is with you, whatever comes to your mind this is not your intention, this is not in your heart, so Allah will not angry with you, you are trying your best to keep him happy that's why he loves you. Allah knows your intention, he knows best what is in your heart, you are not sinful for this. So, whenever these thoughts come to your mind immediately start thinking about something else, anything you like.