This is a very interesting question. Sexual pleasure is not only misunderstood or confusing for muslims but for all people. It is one thing all humans share. As a person who was a Christian for many years I had the exact same question and I still contemplate it. I don't have the defenitive answer for you but I can tell you that dreams are definitely healthy and are part of how our minds and bodies heal and sort memories and thoughts.
I was literally coming here to ask this same question. I was also curious about fasting being a new muslim (5yrs). As a Christian I once fasted for several days, it's viewed very differently between religions and individuals and not particularly prescribed for Christians but only talked about and revealed in the Bible like most of the religion it's in stories. The Bible talks about Jesus fasting and how it's healthy. science also backs up the heathy benefits of it.
the reason I bring it up is because I was fasting when I "discovered" Islam. it had been 3 full days of fasting and praying and studying. Resisting urges ie: cigarettes and food and lust. I was in one of the most difficult times of my life. I had lost everything and I called out to God one last time. one of my deepest and most sincere prayers deep in my heart was a question I had been asking for decades. I was confused about praying to our prophet. a man. It's something most Christians struggle with. believing Jesus is God never suited me and I searched for others who felt this way for most of my life.
My life at this time was in pieces and I prayed to God asking God to answer me once and for all. Why must I accept something I simply can never believe to be true? why can't I pray directly to God?? I had to pray to Jesus when the Bible does not reveal such a thing to me??? I was going to leave religion Forever that day. I refused to follow a religion that tells ne salvation is hidden in an impossible riddle. the Trinity is impossible to comprehend and though most Christians say it is because it's a mystery from God I refuse to accept that my God would hide salvation within an impossible riddle.
That year a refugee family had moved to my town. there was a lot of small minded people who hated and feared them, I was told they were my enemy and that they worshipped something bad. suddenly in my mind while praying to God and asking God to show me truth once and for all, I felt motivated to try what I had always tried one last time. to follow Jesus and to be a living sacrifice for God and goodness. Jesus tells us to fast and pray to God but also to love our enemy... love my enemy? I thought.. but how? have I ever truly experienced such a thing...
I wanted to know what it means to love.. so I started studying this new refugee families culture and traditions, their food and way of life. I started studying their religion and "their God". On my 3rd day of fasting I learned about the 5 prayers and decided to try the positions. The moment I put my forehead to the ground and worshipped in sujood my mind was completely overwhelmed. This is how I have always prayed and worshipped! Directly to my God. These people had the same God I had.. the family I had searched for my entire life and the answer to my most difficult prayer was answered in a split second.
when I say up I burst into tears. my body was overwhelmed with the spirit. I felt what later I learned was the Ummah.. I felt the pain and the suffering of all people around the world. I felt how loved we are and saw things.. logical things.. thoughts beyond my own understanding. The joy was so overwhelming I cried and laughed at the same time. it was like perfect balance and harmony. There is a verse in the Bible that says "you will not know God until you know Joy like a fountain pouring from the top of your head". I had always found these small proverbs and parable and sought them. like the ones about fasting or having a mustard seeds worth of faith etc..
Fasting is scientifically proven to heal and help the body and mind. I drank only water, and fasted from all desires, and after my "experience" realizing I was always a Muslim and that was born this way, I continued fasting for 4 more days but this time all my cravings had been taken away from me like before but there was more. it was as though God has blessed me with a fast. I was living fulfilled on Gods spirit alone. I had used fasting in the past as a way to quit smoking and it had the same affect where after several days the cravings are completely taken away but this time even my craving for food was taken away and this also is spoken about in the Bible.
suddenly I saw the pieces of the 'injil' clear as day and in total contrast to what is simply confusion and mistakes or purposely foiled documents. Some things were written by believers and some not.
but this time was also different because I knew that my "enemy" was in fact my family. For a few months after this I lived in balance, it was powerful and life was good. better than ever. I was a Muslim and so proud of it. my town was confused and started to hate me. I met the refugee family and prayed with the father. I was experiencing a new world and I am so grateful and honoured to be a part of it..until one day I had a wet dream and my entire world was flipped. I was an adult and it had not happened for a long time. what did it mean? I had no control over it! Was it a sin? Today I'm 41 and I can assure you I still have questions. the Bible teaches nothing about sex, unless you read the Psalms. The prayers written by Nabi Dawood to our Creator. I wish I could speak Arabic and translate them because English doesn't do then justice. I once translated what is known as "The Lord's Prayer" in the Bible. it is when Jesus was asked "how do we pray?" by his followers: Jesus responded with a prayer. it is almost identical to Al Fatihah and thus still lies my mind today. SubahnAllah. I translated it to Arabic and shared it on my social media and my Muslim friends hearted it and asked where this most beautiful prayer had come from... it was so similar to Al-Fatihah but also different.
anyway not to go too far off topic because this is such an important topic. it cannot be a sin. it cannot be wrong and we must learn to accept that sexual desire is one of the greatest challenges we face as males. I'm sorry but for this post I don't have scriptural quotes or direct answers only my experience and "boomer wisdom" heheg. Do not let it get you down, be thankful for it. your body is healthy and working. your mind is challenging you and showing you things to help you.
some day you will have a wife inshaAllah and you will need to control these urges and desires better than ever for the sake of your queen and your deen and if you are having wet dreams it is a sign you are living pure. it is innocent and beautiful. don't be too hard on yourself. let it guide you it is the will of Allah. Let it show you your own weakness and make you stronger. do not let it break your concentration but be grateful and proud of yourself for sustaining from things like premarital sex and masterbating. Those things are unhealthy but this is not. it's science. it's healthy.
Many people in my country say masterbating is healthy because withholding it causes issues in the body, well this is how our body deals with it and keeps us healthy without becoming addicted to something lustful, it is totally out of our control. we will never be perfect but will always be perfectly created and human. This is why we worship God. We need God God does not need us. God loves us with unconditional love and it's so powerful it is terrifying to think of what life would be like without it. I think the body would die and turn to dust if there was no God.
I'm sorry I don't have a solid answer only my experience and similar questions. but I'm older and this is my wisdom. I pray it finds you well and helps you in some way. amiin. God bless you and peace be with you. This is in part my testimony and as it says in the Quran it is a blessing to share it. the Bible says the same thing. if this helps you thank God not me. This is not from my intention but my experience and God is guiding me inshaAllah. please pray for me and jazakAllah khair for sharing your honesty and truth.