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I’ve been married for 6 months now, alhamdulilah it was a love marriage and we married young (early 20’s). And I now live with his family due to customs and traditions.

We have now passed our honeymoon stage and there are a few arguments here and there, but I’ve noticed my husband has become more distant with me in showing affection as he previously has done.. he also spends all of his free time playing games, to the point where he would rather play video games all night than to come up to sleep with his wife. Every time I try to address the problem he gets angry and thinks I am blaming him and stopping him from playing games and threatens to throw away his games, and then tells his mother what’s going on which results in the mother in law blaming me to the point where I am no longer allowed to have a problem with anything as she believes I have the most “easiest life” as I have married into her family and married her perfect son, who does no wrong.

Knowing he would rather play games than to spend the night with me kills me, as we always used to go to sleep together - I don’t know what I’ve done wrong and I don’t know how to address this without involving the mother in law. I have previously spoken to him about keeping our marriage matters between ourselves but he claims he only tells his mother as she can “help” me. But all the mother does is blame me and tells me to occupy myself with housework and leave him alone to do as he wishes even if he wants to sleep at 4am. This does not resolve how I feel and how I am slowly loosing my connection with my husband.

I by no means wish to stop his games, I understand everyone needs their own personal time. I just wish to know what’s changed and how we can fix this as there’s been less and less affection and now I feel like I’m just loosing my marriage before it’s even started.

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This was a sad post sister. Direct arguments don't appear to be working here, it only takes your personal affair to a third person and are only increasing the anger. There are three things you can do:

  • Pray to Allah, prayers have great power and Allah can fix things the way we can't imagine.

  • Make sabar your companion, hard turns are part of life and sabar
    gives great reward.

  • Increase intimacy and attraction for your husband, think of ways to
    attract his attention.

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