Do I have to respect my father even if he is leading me down the wrong path

Question

He is Evangelical Christian and only believes the stuff that the media says about Islam and is always teaching me and my siblings that muslims will go to hell and such terrible things.He also abused both my mother and me and my siblings.He is also very neglectful and never even buys food/water or works or anything.He also makes me eat pork,skip salat,go to church with him etc.I'm honest that if he found out that I converted to Islam then something very bad will happen to me.

Answer 1

Salaam alaikum

Sounds like a difficult position to be in. May Allah grant you sabr, may He grant you ease and may He guide your family.

Hold patient. You can keep your Islam secret if you think revealing it will cause you harm, although I encourage you to discretely look for Muslims in your area. Search for groups on meetup, Facebook, etc.

Try find an excuse not to eat pork. You know your father best, so all I can give are suggestions: pick what you think might work with him. You could say you've started to dislike the taste. You could go all-out vegetarian and use that as a non-religious reason. Or you can come up with ethical/health reasons to avoid it. Here are non-religious reasons to avoid pork: https://www.peta.org/living/food/top-10-reasons-eat-pigs/

You should do your very best to perform your salah on time, and make it up if you are forced to perform it late, although avoid making this a habit. Make dua to Allah asking Him to help you find a way out of your difficulties.

It is OK to go to church, as long as you don't believe in what they say in your heart. Although it would be better if you can find a way out. https://islamqa.info/en/answers/126446/should-she-go-to-the-church-with-her-mother-to-make-her-happy gives some advice you might find helpful. I particularly like their point about being kind to parents and using a non-religious excuse like studying or meeting a friend.

I would also encourage you to learn about Islam in a way that you can build up your knowledge to defend yourself against their wrong perception of Islam. Without telling them you have converted, you could still gently say "I actually read that might not be true; can we look into it together?" In general though, I'd encourage you to let your kindness shine and have that be what shows them how Islam has changed you, even if they don't know you've converted.

Answer 2

Do I have to respect my father even if he leads me in the wrong direction? In the early days of Islam, this (a person who has converted to Islam and lived with his non-Muslim parents after converting to Islam) was very common and did not cause any problems. Therefore, we can live with them by observing the Shari'a rules and observing Islamic norms. Of course, it is necessary to observe their respect, even if the parents are infidels, but their obedience is not permissible where it leads to God's sin or obligatory abandonment.

Ref: https://www.islamquest.net/fa/archive/ur21419