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Asalamu-alaikum,

I feel embarrassed and guilty for asking this question but Allah Almighty knows what is in my heart.. I started praying very recently, I'm 23 years old. I got inspired by my father who was making big mistakes in his life and Alhamdulillah he is now a man of God and started praying more, which inspired me to do the same. I am not perfect with my prayers, but I do try. Last night was the first time in my life to offer Qiyam Al-Layl, and I also fasted today since it's Thursday. After maghrib, I got into a huge fight with my mother and I went crazy almost as if shaytaan entered my body. I was angry, full of hate, pain, and could not control my actions. It is the first time I have ever done such a thing.

To be fair, my mother has been causing me much pain over the years. It is not her intention to do so, but I pray Allah gives her guidance. It is fair to say it has been anger built up over the years. However, today has severely damaged our relationship.

Why is it when I strive to be a better Muslim, it's harder for me to continue? I cannot pray Isha because I am afraid. Astaghfurallah. Every time I pray, I get a very bad outcome almost immediately. Please brothers and sisters, offer me guidance. I don't want to lose faith.

God bless you all

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Waalaikumussalam brother, may Allah loves you even more.

You were blessed. You don't want to know how it feels when Allah neglects a person. Nothing happens. Absolute nothing would happens to him as a guidance, no hint, no good or bad signs, nothing. as if Allah has broken his connection with him. You can't imagine how miserable his life would be when Allah rejects him. He do good, no rewards. He do bad, no hint for him to repent. Again brother, you were blessed. Allah is guiding you.

Find a sign in every hint Allah gave you. Ask help from imams and brothers of the mosque. Allah loves you.

You know Allah guides you when feel you wanted to do good things, you were reminded to perform solah and doa. Allah wants you to CONNECT and ask for HIS HELP. Go on and just ask for it.

Hear it from Mufti Menk. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEekeSw0fhg

Be kind to your parents.

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Walaikum Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

Don't feel like that. It may be a trick from Shaytan. Pray Salah and ask help from Allah. Ask Allah to forgive your sins, ease your difficulties.

If you don't pray you would be sinful and Shaytan will be happy.

For anger problem, see this link

I hope it will be helpful. May Allah ease your difficulties. Aameen

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