I met a guy, and we have known each other for 5 months now. It felt like an instant connection, we clicked. We really wanted to marry and spend our lives together. We both felt right for each other. I was attracted to him both in terms of his appearance, as well as his character and deen. We decided on praying istekhara. The istekhara only made my belief stronger about marrying him, i really want to spend my days here and the hereafter with him. But his istekhara resulted differently. Removing me from his life, puts him at more ease, and as a consequence, he ended things with me. He is divorced, and he thinks that the stigma of that will put him at a place, where he moved on from with great difficulty. He doesn't want my parents or anyone to tarnish his character.

I respect his decision, but i really want to have a content married life with him inshallah, that's what i feel. But then i also think, that maybe his istekhara resulted in this because it may not be the right time for us, Allah knows best.

I have requested him to continue praying istekhara, and i will too. Although i really make dua to Allah swt, that he brings him back into my life. Is that wrong of me to do? Does that mean I'm questioning Allah's qadr?


Assalamu Aleikum

The brother has obviously moved on and has no interest in marrying you. The question is not so much as to question Allah's Qadr but attempting to force the issue in your own way. Step back and ask Allah to grant you a better husband.

"But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not." Quran 2:216

We are encouraged not to harm, inconvenience, impose or oppress others as Muslims. Your insistence on marrying him may actually be driving him away. Relax and move on. You will in good time find someone better if you put your trust in Allah.


Firstly you should not talk with him, that is haram, all bad situations in family comes from haram starts. What you are making dua is not correct, you should ask from Allah a good spouse for you. Save your iffat, haya. Perform night salahs

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