Assalamualaikum. Salamuaikum

I do not know if you are responsible for this but I am desperate ..

I’m a sister and Religious Alhamdulillah.

I have a concern that has not let go of me for years.

In my childhood (or maybe this already counts as youth) - I was 12 or 13 or 14 years old (don’t remember so good) - I was in bed with my brother, who was 2 or 3 years old at the time.

out of curiosity, I touched his genitals with my genitals. even though i remember- that it was wrong but i did it ..

then I let go of it and never did it again.

15 years have now passed.. but i read something in the internet about death penaltry = sharia law.

I have regretted it, but I am deeply ashamed. I read on an English fatwa site on the Internet that looked very serious that there is only death for something like that in Islam and that you shouldn't pretend to be a believer in this world because you did something wrong and nothing helps you except that Punishment death penaltry in the world, so you should kill the person who did this.

But I was very young .. I don't know if this can be excused- I regret it so much .. with all my heart and I disgust myself for doing something like that ... As I said, I don't know why I did that. Also to my brother ... I don't know if he knows anything about it, because he was quite small but I'm ashamed and .I don't know what to do because the news from the UK made me panic ... please help me.

Because I'm really desperate, can I really not go on living? Does Allah really say there is such a punishment?

Thanks for reading this.


  • Salam and welcome to IslamSE: To learn more about our site and the SE model take the tour and check our help center. Did you sincerly repent from this? If yes try to forget about it, it seems your conscience causes you some trouble whish means that you fear Allah.
    – Jamila
    Jan 10 at 15:46

How your sin is big, remember Allah's forgiveness is greatest than your sins. So that desperately is also big sin. Say istighfar(Astaghfirulloh) many and many, til your death. This dua is helpful to avoid depression, bad thoughts, waswas Rabbighfir Warham Wa Anta Khairur Rahemeen(Meaning: Allah forgive me and give mercy, for You are the best of those who show mercy) This dua is mentioned in surah Al-Mu'minun(118 verse). Stay before Fajr and do salah, ask forgiveness.


The fact that you fell regret And that you want Allah to forgive you and you writing this for help and gidence this is clear proof to Allah that you have changedand want forgiveness, sister don't worry just seek forgiveness from Allah and Allah may forgive remember he is most Merciful. and don't kill yourself or let anyone kill you because you are a good person you have changed you were only to be punished whith death at the moment you were committing that sin but now you've changed your seeking guidance and have regret which means that your not to be punished whith death and inshallah may Allah please forgive you and this ummah. Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

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