Assalamualikum brother and sister, I am so ashamed to share a promblem i am having for about a year. When i was about 14 years old i start matsubating but then i left it when i was in matric. A teacher gave me love letter and said that "she loves me". I was so happy because she was i favorite teacher. After a week she asked permission to kiss me i let her kiss me. Then we start talking late nights about mature things. I didnt knew that i was doing wrong then one day she send me some nudes. About 1 month she kissed me servel times. Then she left me because school was over. But i was fallen in love with her. She deleted her account and i cannot doo anything i miss her alot and i have start matsubating about everyday i am so ashamed that i have started matsubating and i kissed her. In short i have start hateing myself. I want to quiet matsubating and i dont want sex before marriage ad it is haram. I am having a lot of sexual urges i woukd be helpful if yiu have answers for me.
- You should have reported that immediately. You were (or still are) a minor, and despite your "feelings" for your teacher and being "in love" with her, that's illegal. A teacher is forbidden from having a relationship with a student and vice versa. She can be sent to jail for what she did with you.
I recommend calling your school and reporting this. They may still have a record of her in their system.
I would recommend:
- Deleting any photos of her you may still have
- Maybe set a timer on your phone for a minute or so and set it beside the counter so while you're busy using the bathroom and have the urge to masturbate, the timer will ring and you'll be forced to get up and rush to the counter to turn it off. It may also help with losing your focus on your sexual thoughts.
- Limit your phone use.
- Exercise and occupy your free time. Generally, if you're bored, you're more likely to go masturbate. So maybe join a club or go for a walk or exercise to remove that feeling.
- PRAY! If you haven't prayed yet, pray. You're feeling to masturbate will diminish a lot. Prayer takes you away from sin (See verse below):
"Recite what has been revealed to you (i.e., the Prophet) of the Book, and keep up the prayer. Surely prayer forbids obscenity and malfeasance; and indeed the Remembrance of Allah is greater, and Allah knows whatever you (The pronoun is plural) work."
- Read Quran. You'd feel guilty having haram thoughts if you're reading Quran so you'd most likely turn away from those thoughts. Listening to Quran would be good as well.
- Increase your faith. The stronger faith you have, the lesser you'd fall into the haram.
IF HOWEVER you are really horny (sexually aroused) and you're in fear of comitting zina (unlawful sexual intercourse before marriage), you may masturbate. It's better to "play" with yourself than expose yourself and commit a severe sin that's forbidden in Islam. Also, if you haven't watched pornography, you're free from addiction. So if you're worried you may resort to porn, then masturbate. It's better to remove that feeling than watch others having sex and gaining even more haram. Afterwards, deeply repent along with making dua to Allah that He'll make it easier for you.
Some people masturbate and other's do not. Don't feel guilty. It's a natural thing that we got to control unless we're at fear of committing zina or watching pornography.
It's clearly a test from Allah for mostly teenagers (and even adults) if we are conscious that He is watching us this very second.