Aoa, i got married 5 years ago. Talked to my husband for 8 months before getting married. When we were talking we both asked about past relations and he said he only had 2 thats it. But occasionaly i kept asking him as people said he was a play boy etc but i never believed anyone but still would ask him if it was true. Last year i found pictures of girls on his laptop(who were his friends) he used to use them to masturbate. We had a huge fight and he promised to tell me all the details. I know its ok in Islam to hide stuff from wife about your past. But we both agreed to tell each other everything to build trust and to make the relationship work. 4 months later he started opening up and told me all about his past.(skimmed information, which i dont mind at all) I respected it. Few days later i found a very innapropriate conversation of him with one of the girls. (Which gave me a picture of what kind of relations he had) I got upset and we fought again but still chose to give the relation another chance. He swore that he wont lie again. (as he said we both will be honest and we'll tell each other everything). We got really close in these few days but Last night he confessed again that he lied about 1 girl (which i can tell he really loved) he still chose to protect her and not be honest with me. Im so hurt and frustrated. I dont think i can trust him ever again. I know it seems as if im judging him but i dont have a problem with what he did i just wanted him to be honest with me. I only asked for one thing in this relationship and again and again he broke my trust. Im devastated. I dont know what to do. I told him he didnt have to tell me the details of what happened (he couldve said there was something that hallened with that girl, which i cant tell u out of respect) but he lied again. I doubt everything he says now. There might be so much he lied to me about. I dont trust him at all. I dont know what to do. Please help. Thank you.


1 Answer 1


I think you should leave everything about the past. It is clear that his past is involved in many things and it was proven that he doesn't want to reveal it. May be bcoz he doesn't want his image to be dropped if he reveals it all. So u can agree to leave everything about it but on the condition that you should now make sure and take his promise that he will not hide anything from now and won't lie about anything. And above all you need to make sure that you and he become practicing muslims and regret the past. If he walks on Islam, believe me your relationship will become strong and he will not lie about the present as he will have no need to do so. So make that sure. Taqwa is your solution.

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    There is so much i need to get over to start trusting him again. At this point i dont trust him at all. And i fear that with time it will keep getting worse and i wont feel any attachment/love towards him. We have decided to give everything a chance till august. But things keep coming up when i connect dots after shaadi he met girls from his past n hugged them (knowing he had physical relations with her she ignored me cmpletly even tho i was standing there. I asked him if he had something with that girl in the past but he lied. And she was a potential rishta for him. I feel like such a fool
    – user39338
    Commented Jul 7, 2020 at 6:17

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