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Assalam o Alaikum sir, im an 18 year old. i didnt have much knowledge about fasting since they were obligated on me. but since last year i got to know that for every broken fast we have to give kaffara, but in my case i was breaking fast for like 4 years on and off due to masturbation or drinking water intentionally and i dont remember the exact number of fasts ive broken in these 4 years. i cannot give kuffara as im a teenager and i dont earn money. and secondly i cannot fast for 60 days continuously just to fill up my single roza. but last year i repented from my sins and asked forgiveness from Allah and since then im habitual in my fasting and dont break them now. also, ive had this promise with myself that as soon as i start earning money ill try to feed as much people as i can. so is there any way that i can seek forgiveness (touba) from Allah and continue with my life because this thing is making me upset alot and is giving me suicidal thoughts that im really bad muslim. what should i do please help ? and tell if theres any way because ive no option. jazakAllah

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